Just because he’s watching your Insta stories, doesn’t mean he has a hard on for you. This is what you need to know about those click-happy culprits…
You know what I have a problem with when it comes to dating, other than pretty much everything? Men who’ve ghosted on me or who’ve been unavailable in real life (after hitting me up on text) liking my posts and/or watching my videos via social, and who have no intention on hooking up with me or making anything come of it.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I love the attention. I live for the attention. And as much as I don’t want to lose any attention (the thirst is real!) I just don’t love what it does to my head and how it makes me act.
And I’m not alone. This happens to my girlfriends. It happens to my clients. It happens to pretty much everyone who’s single or in an “it’s-complicated” type of relationship that also happens to have social media account(s). However, it’s time for us to realize what’s really happening and how not to read too much into it.
Am I right? For every time a blast from the past or someone we’re on the down and outs with watches or likes something of ours (a Snap, an Insta post/vid, a Facebook update,) we go into a spiral of self-delusion, misinterpreting their actions as having to mean something. Well – let me be the voice of reason (hold your applause) and bring us all back to reality.
When we start putting in thought or value into why so and so “liked” our post, we’re in the height of our narcissism. We mistakenly tell ourselves that they must want us (how can they not?!) Yet this puts us in a position where we mistake the action for a hidden message that said person is in love with us or into us makes us act in very irrational, very embarrassing ways. Like sliding into their DMs, hitting them up, only to get no response.
When we see these actions, they tend to f*&k with our psyche. Why? Because we are needy, self-critical things who thrive on hits of attention and on trying to establish a sense of self-worth, admittedly, through likes/comments/retweets and of course the number of views on our Insta/Snapchat stories. It’s not cute, but it’s human as all hell. So when a blast from the past (who should very well stay in said past) comes up each and every time you post something, it makes you mistake that person’s action as something that means more than it actually is.
You’re amazing. You’re great. But let’s face it, if someone wants you (including the click-happy culprit) they know where and how to find you. They’d reach out to you directly. They’d ask you out. They’d make and then commit to plans, and most importantly, they’d keep said plans. And if they don’t have the balls to do that, and don’t have the decency to at least respond to you after you reach out, then you’re just setting yourself back even more.
Just because a dude watched a vid you posted doesn’t mean anything other than: he watched a vid you posted. Maybe he was bored. Maybe it came on automatically after watching the person before your’s vid and he didn’t catch it quick enough to close it. But for you to think that it means more… like he’s sitting pining away for you…. well, you’re sadly mistaken.
We’re adults. When we’re interested in something we make it known. We take action. We move mountains to make time for them. It’s really rather simple. So don’t make something bigger than it is, for if you do, you’re the only one to blame.
PS: For the guys who do this, stop. Unless you plan on F’ing the person and are actually going to follow through, leave us TF alone. Because even though we know what’s up (aka read this piece), chances are we’ll still see it, shame-spiral the day away and possibly continue to til’ the end of time.
How do you respond to messages from click-happy men on Instagram and social media? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.
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