Did you hear? Mother’s Day is fast approaching and no matter where you turn, everyone on social media has something to say about it. While many mothers across the globe deserve to be loved and celebrated, the holiday itself can be difficult for many for a variety of reasons.
For those who are either estranged from their mother or have lost a mother growing up, the holiday can bring out more bad than good. If you’re feeling sad, angry, alone or frustrated: trust me, you’re not alone. You don’t know it or feel it, but there are plenty of other kids like yourself that are feeling the same feelings you are.
Thanks to social media, Mother’s Day, is reverberated over and over again in the echo chamber and making the day for any kind of celebrate. So rather than curl up and feel anger or remorse, I’ve created a Survival Guide for Mother’s Day when you’re trying to avoid the holiday all together:
Celebrate yourself
You should be doing this every single day but let’s be real, self-care is hard sometimes. Do something for yourself like a fancy face mask, a trip to the pool or going for a walk through the park. Whatever works for you, just do it and celebrate the rad person you are. But whatever you do, avoid going to places where you know you’ll be in an uncomfortable situation (i.e. any restaurant serving Mother’s Day brunch) and be gentle with yourself.
Spend time with your allies and chosen family
One thing I’ve learned as an adult is that your birth family doesn’t have to be your chosen family. If your relationship has ended with your family (due to death or a toxic relationship) – over time you will find a ‘chosen’ family. This could be friends, acquaintances or former family friends. Whoever your chosen family are, lean on them when you need it most (IRL or online) and this holiday is one of those times.
Find others who understand
I know I’ve said this already, but this is something I had to keep reminding myself of for while: you’re not alone. Keep reminding yourself daily until it sinks in because you’re not. There are places online and in real life where you can connect with people who are struggling with the same things you are and if you’re comfortable utilizing those support systems, do it.
Minimize potentially triggering situations
Sometimes people who aren’t going through similar situations to you may have a hard time understanding your situation. Even if you kindly explain to others how or why these types of situations are hard for you, you’ll encounter folks who don’t respect your boundaries. My advice? Mute all mentions of “Mother’s Day” on Twitter and trust me, it’s easy to do.
No matter how you end up spending Mother’s Day, remember this much: just because you don’t celebrate doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you’re mean-spirited. It just means you’re a real person with very valid feelings and emotions.
RELATED LINK: Signs You’re Too Emotionally Guarded
Do you have any helpful tips on how to survive Mother’s Day if you hate or have lost your mom? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.