I know, I know. You’ve been on a shit-ton of first dates and everything always goes the same: he laughed at your jokes, you looked like a babe, and you even kissed come end of the eve. So why, prey tell, has yet another gent not followed up on a second date?
It’s typical for us ladies to blame the guy, make excuses for him or to just move onto the next one waiting in the wings (thanks Tinder, for the back-up). And yet, the only thing all those first dates have in common is you. Which means you gotta change something up in order to see results (a.k.a. a second date). Here’s a look at what you might be doing wrong (even though your besties tell you otherwise) and what you can do instead to make sure dude isn’t just asking for another date, but booking you while you’re still on your first one with him…
1. Let the other person talk. There are few things people like more than talking about themselves.
2. Show interest and enthusiasm. If you like what they’re saying, engage by asking following up questions.Follow up with their thoughts instead of changing the conversation and making it about you.
3. Be confident. Men and women agree this is the number one trait that attracts them to another person.
4. Be decisive. Show how easy-going you are by being decisive. If your date asks where you want to go, or where you want to sit when there, speak up as opposed to trying to please them by reversing the question.
5. Read the situation. Energy is contagious. If you’re feeling awkward or like there’s no chemistry, likely he is too. Acknowledge it and move on to the next without wasting time. Don’t try to talk yourself into liking someone just so you don’t have yet another terrible first date.
6. Don’t over-drink. Know how much booze you can handle and stay within your means. Sure, booze releases your inhibitions and can help make you feel funnier and more talkative, but it can also help open your mouth (for over-sharing) as well as your legs (keep ‘em closed tonight).
7. Keep it off social media. It’s date one after all. Don’t make him feel like you’re trying to show off, or that you’re possessive. No matter how much your life revolves around Twitter, skip out on the check-ins, the pictures of your food and cute cocktails, and, worse, a selfie of the two of you… on night one.
8. Cut the date short. Leave on a high. The power lies with he… er… she who ends the date first. Leave him wanting more.
9. Keep him on his toes by not sharing too much info. You wouldn’t meet someone at a cocktail party and share the who/what/where/why/whens of your life. No! Instead you’d talk about what you do, see if you have any common interests, and if so perhaps exchange cards and make future plans. Treat date one like a cocktail party.
10. Have fun. Don’t look at the date as a means to an end, but instead take it for what it is. When you don’t have agenda, you release the sense of pressure, making both parties more natural and more comfortable. Like the rule above, at a cocktail party you’d meet a new acquaintance and perhaps see them again, maybe not, but wouldn’t try hard to overdo your intro. Same goes for a date.
What are some of your tips and tricks on landing that second date? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.