“My ex is crazy.” “Stop over-analyzing.” “I do care, I’m just a chill guy.” Chances are you’ve heard these phrases coming out of your boyfriend’s mouth before. How about instead of telling us we look “fine,” you tell us we look sexy? It would get you a whole lot further. You think by now men would have learned what not to say to their girlfriends, but when speaking to our gal pals about how often we get, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” from our significant others, the answer is clear – they’ll never figure it out.
Somehow, men are communally oblivious to how annoying phrases like, “You’re being dramatic,” are to a woman. Men, it’s time to put an end to this stupidity. To make it easier for you, the ladies at Vv Magazine have made a list of 15 things men should stop saying to their girlfriend, in the words of Taylor Swift, like ever.
1. “You look fine, honey.” I look f**king fabulous. Do you know how much money I spent on these shoes?
2. “Can you chill? You’re being so dramatic.” These are called feelings. Say it with me: Fee-lings. That’s a noun. It’s not my fault you’re emotionally illiterate.
3. “I’m really busy, I can’t.” Awh! Poor baby! It must be awful for you to have so little spare time to play your video games and scratch your balls.
4. “She’s hot but you’re hotter.” I’m not hotter than Blake Lively and I won’t lie to you, you don’t compare to Ryan Gosling either.
5. “Yep.” Clearly you’re not listening because, if you had been, you would know that ‘yep’ wasn’t an answer to my question.
6. “I’ll do it later!” And six days later, the dishes are still in the sink and the cat has died of starvation. Ten points to Gryffindor!
7. “I don’t care, you decide.” Complacency is about as sexy as a yeast infection. Have an opinion, be proactive.
8. “Can you hurry up getting ready.” No, actually, I have legs to shave, eyebrows to pluck, and, oftentimes, a tampon to insert correctly. It might take me an extra minute or 12.
9. “I need a night with my bros.” Good. I need a night away from you to let a face mask soak in and to finally have a bath.
10. “I just have one more email to send.” Put the iPhone down or else…
11. “I unloaded the dishwasher last week.” How long are you going to use that one for?
12. “You sleep too much.” Because you exhaust me.
13. “That’s not the right way to do it.” It’s not the right way or just not the way you do it?
14. “Are you in a bad mood?” You know if I’m in a bad mood and wanted to talk about it, we would already be unpacking my childhood resentments. It would also already be on Twitter and Facebook, d’uh.
15. “Are you really gonna eat that?” Abso-friggin-lutely and you, my dear, have the immense privilege of watching me.
If you need drop a few hints to that boyfriend of yours, don’t hesitate to do so in the comments below or follow us @ViewTheVibe.