You gotta love a good sweat sesh! Hitting it hard at the gym not only beats down stress and keeps those pecs in check, but it also helps make up for any debauchery you may have exposed your physical self to in days prior. Whether you’re a gym regular or you’re just getting started, there are a few unspoken rules that must be followed if you want to avoid steel glares across the gym floor…
No Sweat
Hello, my name is Sam, and I am a sweater. (No, not the clothing.) When I am done my workout, I may as well have stood under a shower, fully clothed, for half an hour. It ain’t pretty. But it’s OK because I am absolutely committed to the most crucial of gym etiquettes: always wipe down your machine! Even if you are bone dry when you and the treadmill part ways, it’s expected and respected. And you won’t get a beat down from the juice monkey running next to you.
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Keep Your Privates Private
Women’s lib, I totes get it! What I don’t get so much is the need to wander around the changing room butt-naked for no apparent reason. Of course there may be the occasional flash as one is de-gymming to continue on with your day. But a full on parade is kinda awkward and unnecessary and makes us lesser liberal peeps feel a tad uncomfortable! Let’s keep naked-hour to the confinements of the condo; you can always keep the blinds open if that’s your thang.
Respect the Headphones
The gym for some is a place to meet like-minded peeps and catch up on the latest in protein shakes and pull-up techniques. That’s cool. But if someone is kicking their own ass on the elliptical and as a result can barely breathe, chances are they’re probably not really at the place to socialize. Same can be said if someone has their iPod in and turned up so high they are surely doing damage. There are a ton of toned talkers that are just dying to get their chat on so go put your social skills to good use with them. The out-of-breath, sweaty boom-box is probably not your target audience!
Keep it Moving
Fitting in a workout can often mean making sacrifices: getting up stupid early to squeeze in a class before work or trading a beer on a patio for a lunch date with the free-weights. These sacrifices often mean you gotta haul ass to the gym at the busiest times and fight for your right to lift! So it can be slightly frustrating when someone (who is probably self-employed) takes their sweet time on the machine you need. Maybe they’re even taking a time out and having a catch up with the guy on the leg press. These slow-pokes just don’t understand that for some, time is of the essence and we gotta hustle to get ‘er done before the boss wonders where we are! So let’s keep her moving on the circuit, kids… there’s room for everyone!
A Place for Everything
I remember as a kid always being told to put things back where I had found them. Of course I often wouldn’t listen and sure enough, on my return a few days later to retrieve said object… poof… it’s disappeared into the ether forever. Now, as an adult gym-goer, nothing grinds my gears more than misplaced equipment. Spending 10 minutes of precious workout time to find the kettle bell I need, hiding in some obscure corner rather than in the rack that was made solely to house it, is annoying to say the least! We’re big boys and girls now! We can take an extra 20 seconds at the end of our workout to put things away where they belong. It’s only fair to our fellow gym enthusiasts. And just think how proud your parents would be!
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