Selfies get a lot of flack for being obnoxious, but at least they’re blatantly shameless when it comes to relying on the attention of others as your main source of self-worth. Here are 5 things more offensive than selfies on Facebook when it comes to desperate cries for attention…
Multiple photos of the view from your vacation…
Is that a sunset over the beach, or were you hoping we’d confuse the red sky for our own burning jealousy? Inquiring minds want to know: Why did you spend $5,000 photographing a sexy landscape for your social media acquaintances while you spent your entire vacation staring at your iPhone?
Changing your status to “Married” on the day of your wedding…
If consummating your marriage on Facebook is the first thing you do when you get back to your hotel room, then you clearly deserve each other.
Foursquare checking in…
Sure, it’s funny to Foursquare check in to, say, Popeye’s Chicken, but if you’re letting the world know that you’re about to indulge in a 7-course tasting menu, then we’re not saying you deserve to get robbed during the four hours you’ll clearly be out of your home, but you’re definitely the Mayor of Stupid. (Editor’s note: Us constantly-consuming Vibers are totally guilty of this one.)
Statuses about how much you love your life…
As much as everyone appreciates a little positivity, there’s nothing sadder than the kind of person who decides to write a pointless status like: “I LOVE my life!!!” If you can only yell this in CAPSLOCK from behind a computer screen and not on a busy street to a gaggle of strangers, then consider keeping your excitement over getting to the next level of Candy Crush to yourself.
Obnoxious advice queries…
“Restaurant recommendations in Rio?” The Facebook era has given birth to a passive-aggressive bragging culture in the form of outright showoffery masquerading as questions. These statuses only lead to even more masked bragging in the comments from the obnoxious poster’s friends, clogging the news feeds of those of us who use Facebook for the right reasons – stalking former, current and future love interests, obvee.
