Hi. My name’s Adam, and I’m an addict. I can’t resist my urges. I need a fix a few times a day. I get hot and sweaty between intervals of indulgence. But I can live with that. Not a day goes by that I don’t quell the beast within to simply make it through the drudgery of the work day, counting down the seconds until I can sneak in my next hit. My addiction of choice, naturally, is food porn, and I snack off to it whenever I can.
Thankfully, gone are the days of discreetly brown-paper-bagging the latest issues of Bon Appetit or Saveur, the veterans of the food porn industry. With the evolution of social channels I can now sneak in some salacious scenes wherever and whenever I deem apropos – from hidden browser tabs at the office to huddling over my smartphone on the streetcar, anxiously nibbling at my nails all the while hoping no one is any the wiser to my palatable porn habits.
Even better, I no longer have to fork over my hard-earned cheddar to sustain my addiction. That’s what Pinterest is for. I follow some of the sexiest sweet and savoury pinners, at times needing a towel to dab the tell-tale sweat from my brow. Below are some of my fave boards to hitch a fix that you should likely start following. Towel optional…
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Pinner: Andrus Fowler | Board: Savory – Food For Thought
Andrus Fowler does a fantastic job compiling would-be pinups of everything from Smoked Kofta Biryani (pictured below) to Roasted Cauliflower and Chickpea Tacos. She pins some amazing recipes and uploads by fantastic photographers. I simply call her an enabler.
Pinner: E V | Board: Food For Thought
This board is akin to celebrity dick shots in the real porn industry. E V’s board focuses on stunning examples of haute cuisine plating, oftentimes referencing culinary award winners and the world’s top restaurants. Sure, one could attempt to recreate the bounty within the board, but I find it more gratifying to be a voyeur than an exhibitionist.
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Pinner: Chloe Sedden | Board: Entertain
In case you’re planning a sexcellent threesome, foursome, or moresome, Chloe Sedden’s Entertain board has tons of inspiration for mutual meal-time macking. But if you’re going to go the group route just remember: always practice safe eating (read: make everything yourself). You never know what kind of dirty bomb your guests might bring in their post-war slow cookers.
Pinner: Abby {Munchin’ Mel} | Board: ~ simply cake ~
Part of the problem with being a food porn addict is that you cannot have your cake and eat it too. That’s because your cake is made of pixels, and you likely lack the skills or time to whip up a 7-layer wonder every time you need to snack off. But, at least this board has plenty of centerfold-worthy shots, many netting you peeks of what’s under their garments… er… ganache.
Pinner: Eva Kosmas Flores | Board: …Pasta…
Italian restaurants in Toronto often think they’re hot shit, but once you peruse Ms. Eva’s …Pasta… board you’ll realize they’re all Quick Draw McGraws with one trick up their sleeves, always leaving you slightly dissatisfied and wondering what it would have been like with a different partner.
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Pinner: Greatist + Bustle.com | Board: Veggie Dishes
When you’re an avid food porn aficionado like myself, you’ll realize your tastes change rapidly and you’re always looking for new territory to cover to tantalize your tastebuds. Case in point: I explored the dark side known as Vegetarian-friendly dishes, and I felt no shame in doing so. And how could I when the fruits of my laborious searches net me an imaginary x-rated foursome with almost-identical triplets…?
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Are you a huge Pinterest food board fan? Comment below with your fave ones to follow or tweet ’em to us @ViewTheVibe!