We’ll admit that we pick on Justin Bieber because he has the poor taste not to appreciate his estimated $55 million wealth and instead acts like a spoiled and entitled child. But the fact seems more sadly to be that Bieber has been raised in the irradiating light of fame, in which he has grown personally mutated, believing his whims are superior to those of others, and his actions more forgivable than the stunning majority of us who make less money than he does. So we’re not sure whether it’s with contempt or sadness that we present 5 notable Justin Bieber moments (this year)…
Naked Guitar Photos
In August, photos of Bieber serenading his grandmother in the nude, wearing only an acoustic guitar, surfaced on the internet. It was a prank, he explained. While we’re not certain in what kind of family this sort of thing counts as more funny than awkward, his grandmother seems to have been amused by it, and that’s really what counts here. Fair enough.
Anne Frank: Belieber
Like many tourists visiting Amsterdam, Bieber fit in a visit to Anne Frank House in April. But unlike many tourists, he took the moment to make the tragedy of Nazism sort of about him, writing in the guest book, “Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” Museum officials were forgiving, but it’s hard to wrap your head around the egotism of reflecting on the life and death of Anne Frank and coming out of it thinking about yourself. Critics have pointed out that he was just trying to relate to her, but we’d really prefer he’d have related to those who suffered under Nazism — or, imagine it, as more important than even he is — rather than potential fans.
Justin Bieber naturally had a pet monkey. Obviously. Can you blame him? If we had that kind of scratch we’d have a whole garage full of lemurs. But the difference is that if we were to travel with our coterie of lemurs to, say, Europe, and have them confiscated, we’d go back to get them. Which is not what Bieber did after he tried to bring his pet monkey Mally into Germany in March without proper health documents. Sure, we talk smack of Germans sometimes (if you prick us, do we not bleed? Etc.), but they’re right about monkeys needing health documents. So the Germans took away his monkey, and rather than come back for it, Bieber simply abandoned the poor beast, which was subsequently relocated to a safari park in Hodenhagen. As of August, the German government is asking Bieber to pay $8,000 for the medical care, housing, and transportation of the creature. He has not yet indicated whether or not he will pony up.
Shirtless Airport Visit
We’ll accept that Justin Bieber looks better than we do without a shirt, but while that works to his favour in nightclubs, it’s weirder in international airports. That didn’t stop Bieber — on the same trip to Europe — from wandering into an airport in Lodz, Poland in March (in -10 degree cold) without a shirt. It did help him clear customs easier, though an airport employee told Reuters, “He’s quite skinny so I assume he was probably freezing.”
Not Going to Rehab
In May, Bieber posted a screed on Instagram stating, “If anyone believes I need rehab that’s their own stupidity lol” [sic.], arguing that because he’s 19 and successful he has the authority to determine whether or not he… needs rehab? Maybe he doesn’t. If all he’s doing is smoking weed and drinking too much, it’s barely different from the way we spent our 19th year. But we can at least say that we didn’t abandon our monkey in Europe (or anywhere), and we understood how to dress for travel by air, and we could identify what was and wasn’t a urinal. It’s hard not to wonder if the kid’s increasingly bonkers behaviour is reflective of drug abuse. We hope not: It’s far better just to be weird.