The problem with relying on your own love life as a source of inspiration for columns is that all those pesky mistakes and moral failings tend to get in the way. It’s much easiest to throw shade at the romantic lives of friends, siblings, and any couple you see buying his-and-hers yoga-pants whilst using “we” to speak on behalf of each other, as in: “We’ve been feeling so much healthier since we completely eliminated caffeine from our diet.” I’m all for picking up the odd interest of your significant other over time, like CrossFit or taxidermy, but you shouldn’t invest so heavily in the identity of the relationship that you can’t exist wholly outside of it. Even Brangelina keeps it real, amirite?
That said, I’m starting to worry that I use independence as a crutch, as paradoxical as it sounds. It’s easy to play “All The Single Ladies” on repeat while you make a virtual avalanche out of Tinder left-swipes in hyperspace to convince yourself that this is exactly what Virginia Woolf was talking about when she penned A Room of One’s Own. I don’t like reading dating columns in which the writer feigns to have all the answers. Could you really trust a person to give you advice that suits your personality and your needs, if said person went into every romantic situation with a delusional sense of confidence, self-worth and know-how?
I admit that my social media era approach to compartmentalizing my relationships ie (hang outs are for friends; Tinder dates are for strangers… and there’s no room for crossover artists) has allowed me, up until now, to avoid addressing why I might be terrified of rejection, commitment and the idea of dating someone I might actually like and therefore potentially lose. Accidentally, through the magic that is Queen St West, I started hanging out again with an old friend from St. Andrews. New Brunswick. I don’t remember how we started taking about dating, but I reflexively said that dating a friend was a bad idea (see for yourself below) before the cards were even on the table. Now I’m worried I might have missed out on an opportunity for something a little more evolved than my typical Tinder dates… or maybe it wasn’t even there to begin with? Was it? Please help me. I also have no radar for attraction since I started letting “Right Swipe” do that work.
I’ll apply your tweets to my actions and let you know how it goes next week. Don’t worry, Todd won’t find out. He’s not on Twitter and he’s in New York this week, and I doubt they have social media there. Check Todd out on W Network‘s #RippleEffect below (he makes his first appearance just after the 13 min mark)