Living with your parents used to be a sign of laziness, dependence or being unable to afford a spot on your own. But now it’s common. More millenials and thirty-somethings are still living at home with their parents, or have gotten rid of their city condos to move back in, so they can save up some hard earned cash (thanks to rising real estate costs in the city.)
But just because he’s on the home front doesn’t mean you need to avoid his childhood home like a plague, or write him off as a potential partner. There’s many a reason why someone could still live at home whether it’s due to a recent job, to save up, or perhaps just basic laziness to GTFO. So, who are you to judge?
Let’s be honest though; life under the ‘rents roof comes with some perks: a full fridge of food, stocked cupboards, a backyard to lounge in on those hot summer nights, and if you’re lucky, a well stocked bar with all the accouterments. Think of a proper bitters collection, upscale versions of the basic liqueurs, mixing sets, a variety of glassware, fresh citruses…. it doesn’t get better than that! Sounds more like a suburban oasis than a place to shy away from, right?
But with the good comes the bad, and so the story goes. It can be awkward as all hell when you guys are in that inseparable stage we like to call “the honeymoon phase,” and you’re at his parents place all the damn time, since it’s his place too. They know what’s up when the door suddenly closes or when the shower runs multiple times. The worst? When you have to use the washroom for a quick clean up and have to pass their bedroom to do just that. Not to mention that being in their home changes the whole dynamic in the house – their privacy goes out the door as soon as you strut through their doors.
One must be mindful of the ‘rents place, the message they’re sending, and how to go about being a good houseguest.
Figure out the boundaries
Feeling uncomfortable with this living situation? Chances are you aren’t the only one. Check in with your man to see if he’s talked to his parents about your frequent visits, and have him talk to you honestly about their thoughts and concerns. This will allow you to create healthy boundaries.
Whether it’s cleaning up after yourselves, or bringing over baked goods, or cooking a meal, or offering a bottle of wine; the thought and effort won’t go unnoticed.
Create a bond
Instead of sneaking in when they’re asleep, or sneaking past them to head up to your man’s room, take the time to acknowledge them. They know you’re there, so say hello when you enter, goodbye when you leave, and chat with them. They’ll see you as a person, not just a random/nameless face snogging with their son.
Do your own laundry
Take your shit home. Just because they have a full washer/dryer doesn’t mean you can throw your shit in their wash. Take care of yo’self, girl.
Keep the volume down
Whether blaring music, watching Netflix, laughing after smoking something fun, or getting off, be mindful that there are other people in the house and keep your volume down/respect the shared space.
Sure you can’t get enough of their son, and his huge home is a getaway from your city condo, but take some time away so he can hang with his parents or do things around the house that perhaps he isn’t doing because you’re distracting him. Best way to man’s heart? Make him chase you – so never overstay your welcome.
Do you think it’s okay to date a guy that still lives with his parents? What tips do you have on how to keep the peace? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or tweet us at@ViewtheVibe.