Dating ain’t easy, especially with dating trends like these. Sex and relationship expert, Jen Kirsch gives us the low down on the dating trends that have emerged.
Here’s a look at some of the terms and trends in the shit world of dating that came our way for better or for worse. Honourable mention goes to the breakup text, the way cold-hearted people break up with someone they’re in a serious relationship with because they aren’t strong or compassionate enough to have the Talk in person. RIP telltale line, “I think we need to talk”. It wasn’t fun while it lasted but it sure beats getting blown off by ball-less beaus.
This term sounds sweet because who doesn’t like breadcrumbs? They make our chicken and tofu and tofu-chicken better with an added crunch and hit of flavour. Birds love them. And hello, they top everyone’s mom-made casserole dishes this time of year. But breadcrumbing in the dating world is anything but sweet. It’s basically when a guy you’re into gives you as little as humanly possible to keep you around. A few Instagram photo likes here, a one-word text or emoji there. This trail of breadcrumbs makes you eager to make efforts because you want a whole piece of bread and you convince yourself that, eventually, he’ll give you a slice OR MAYBE A WHOLE LOAF because why else would he be giving you crumbs and not just write you off? Why not? Because he can. Because you let him when your luscious little lips go in and mow down the crumbs every single time. He knows that by simply liking a photo or commenting on a status, that he’ll get in your head and will no doubt hear from you on your own accord. Time to put that bread in the freezer and call it a day.
This is when you’re talking to and hanging out with your partner and they’re playing on their phone. The term comes from the words phone and snubbing. Whether they’re responding to texts or checking out their social media feed, their attention isn’t on you and is on their phone. Phubbing makes people feel undervalued, unworthy and unheard in their relationships. It is one of the main causes of relationship dissatisfaction in 2016. Sure, at times people may phub you intentionally to avoid intimacy or an intimate talk, but once we get comfortable with a person and lock them down, we feel more ‘lax and comfortable using our phones and checking our social apps in front of our partners. If it’s a problem for you, let your partner know without being passive aggressive. They might not even know they’re offending you.
We all know this term by now, but it’s the case of Casper. When you meet someone or you’re hooking up with someone and then out of nowhere they disappear aka “ghost” on you. These are the types of people who don’t have the courage to tell you that they’re no longer interested, so you don’t even realize they no longer want you in their lives until you’ve sent half a dozen unanswered messages, emails, DMs, PMs and the like. Because it’s so easy for someone to ignore you once they’ve checked out, this has become the de facto route of millennials and it’s not cute. It’s basically an avoidance method, one where you get no closure and will likely never hear from them again or ever know what made them ghost.
Benching is reserved for those who have a roster of hook ups. Like in sports, you can’t get to first, second, third or even home base if the coach has benched you. Same goes in the game of the heart. But with benching, you’re still around to be called up to play at any moment. Wear your 69 jersey loud and proud if you’d rather get some on occasion in a non-committal fashion or find a frisky friend that wants you more than a part-time lover.
This is when someone puts the Do Not Disturb sign on their messages on their iPhone to avoid receiving any income messages. I like to call this the out-of-sight, out-of-mind feature but it’s called the moon because of the icon on the feature on your iPhone. People opt to moon someone when they don’t trust themselves not to respond to incoming temptation. Plus, because you don’t ever get the messages, the sender will never get a read receipt so will likely just let it be, eventually, without your psyche being affected.
Guys who just want a straight, easy, non-committal hook up without any strings attached.
Netflix and Chill
This term is a bit more dated but has become more common this past year. It’s basically inviting someone over to come hook up. Netflix need not even be watched.
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