There’s an old adage: If you reuse a man you’ve already hooked up with in the past, it doesn’t count.
The count in which I’m referring to is THE number. That potentially ominous number. That godforsaken number of babes we’ve bedded over the years that is likely listed in a word doc – or better yet, an excel sheet – somewhere in the abyss of our saved documents on our computers.
And though this number is a point of pride for many, others mistakenly link the higher the number with the higher level of shame/judgment for getting around.
Here’s a look at who you should recycle; who you should reduce your time with; who you should damn well reuse to your heart’s delight!
Recycle the good ones where timing was off. Revisit and pass ‘em around as recos for your single friends if you generally enjoyed their company, but timing was off or things just ran its course. I had a recent experience where I was dating someone for a week or two in early February, and though the guy was cool as hell and we had fun times together, we were on different pages and it just fizzled out/hit a crescendo come Valentine’s Day. A month later I matched with his best bud on Bumble, and after he got permission from my former flame, the bestie and I decided to go for drinks. We ended up getting along better, had a better rapport, and turned out to be a better match for what we were each looking for. So long as you’re not sneaking around and everyone’s on the same page, recycling is a great method to meet new baes or pass off ghosts of hookups past.
A no brainer, you should definitely reduce the usage of the ones that make you (or ever made you) feel less-than. The ones who are jealous and/or call you out when you don’t get back to them right away. The ones who question your whereabouts and challenge your availability. The ones who always make you come to them, not for them. The ones who leave after getting off making you feel rejected and confused. And mostly, if you want a relationship and someone has made it oh-so-clear that that’s not where their head is at… let ‘em go for once and for all! We all know how those stories end and it’s neither cute nor chic. Lastly, get rid of the guys that feed you crumbs and constantly cancel on you. Let’s get real here, they’re likely keeping you around in case nothing better comes around.
The ones that provided a high percentage of good experiences and orgasms! When it comes to reusing men of bed-romps past, it’s more about hooking up with someone you feel comfortable with. Someone who won’t suddenly try to sideshow-bob your sack sesh, someone who knows your body well, your wants and needs, and is able to give you what you want, when you want it, all whist being on the same page.
A few great benefits of reusing a great lay include… 1) He’s got new moves, which is a coup for both; 2) You don’t give a fuck about your body or the fact that you like it a little rougher than most. He’s seen and had you at your younger, tighter self; 3) He knows what to expect. By now you know what your arrangement is: whether he’s coming to yours or you’re going to his; whether you’re going to hit it and quit it; whether he’s going to spend the night. There’s a sense of comfort in knowing what to expect, all whilst having a mutual respect.
Do you have any other tips on how to recycle, reduce, and reuse men? Let us know your thoughts in the comments or tweet us at@ViewtheVibe.