About seven years ago, I moved from the suburbs to Toronto, and met a whole new group of friends. These friends stemmed from a mixture of people in my community and in my field of work or “scene,” if you will. With part of my job being attending events in the city on a nightly basis, I met a wide-range of strong, smart, successful, and charming people. Friendships are easy to form when you’re put in a room with the same people four nights a week, every week. Proximity breeds friendship, and so the story goes.
I remember a guy I was seeing off-and-on at the time, who grew up in the same sheltered Jewish suburb and group of friends as I, predicting that within 5 years, I wouldn’t be friends with those people anymore.
I remember feeling offended, defending my new, quick best friend who found me on social media as my career was taking off. He warned me to watch out for her, but I mistook his words for a jealousy of my new bustling social life that was taking precedent over time with him.
I hate to admit it, but he was right. Friends come and go — that’s just how life works. We meet people, we form friendships, and then life happens. We either get to know them more and realize that they’re not for us, grow out of each other when priorities change, or in extreme cases, break things off when one sleeps with your boyfriend after a night of hard partying.
So now we’re here in our thirties with all sorts of friendships, uncertain how to decode them — I’ve put together this list to do just that, because let’s face it, we’ve all had these types of friends by now.
The Social Climbing Friend
You’re doing well. People know you. You have many leather bound books. Out of nowhere, you meet someone who you click with, is always available to hang out, and fits right in with you and your friends. You become a twosome, but then, they meet someone who has a higher social clout then you, and suddenly they’re no longer available to get together. When you text or email them they respond, but just the minimum without making your connection a two way street anymore. You’re replaced by this new “cooler” person or group of friends, even though they spent the last year hanging off you asking to be your plus one to every “notable” event.
The ‘Me, Me, Me’ Friend
She spends all your time together talking about her latest conquests, talking over you, etc. When you get together, she promises she won’t lose herself in flirtations and conversations with other guys, but then she ends up doing just that and you’re hanging around like a non-Instagrammable wallpaper.
The ‘Flighty’ Friend
She is always late, is always in a scramble, and you can never depend on her, but she’s a hell ton of fun. You give her a fake time to meet you and arrive an hour after said fake time and she’s still not there. She likely got lost along the way, didn’t leave when she said, or smoked a bowl before she planned on meeting you and got distracted. Either way, you know this about her and love her anyways. It’s just her doing her!
The Fast Friend
You meet and it’s pretty much love at first sight — you both girl crush over each other hella hard and immediately start doing everything together. You share intimate details about your past, about boys, and whenever something happens in your busy-about-town life (You have a job interview! The guy you went on a fourth date with still won’t invite you back to his place! You just got laid!) she’s the first you reach out to. You start to include her in your circle of friends, and all your stories when talking to others start with a tale about her, or your latest adventure with her. It’s a whirlwind friendship that ends just as suddenly as it began, likely over some misunderstanding. You mourn the loss of this friendship, one that you got lost in, and though you don’t get why it ended, you feel like you’re both probably better for it.
The Mama Bear
This friend is the one who grounds you and takes care of you. Whether hosting you for meals at her place, or grabbing the bill when you’re out together, she’s all about caring for those she holds most near and dear. The mama bear friend never plays tit for tat, and there’s no scorecard. She just genuinely wants to protect and give to those she cares about and her loyalty is her greatest asset.
The Long-Time Friend Forever
Did we miss any type of friend you’ll have in your thirties? Let us know in the comment section or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.