Welcome to the Gay Agenda, where Vv Magazine round ups the latest and gayest in LGBT news in Toronto, Canada and abroad.
Rihanna releases “Bitch Better Have My Money,” gender politics ensue
If you haven’t seen it, spoiler alert: Rihanna’s new “Bitch Better Have My Money” video is explicitly violent. But is it gratuitous? That’s the sticking point, and the inspiration for dozens of online think pieces.
In the video, Rihanna kidnaps a bougey white lady in a see-through bra who presumably is a bitch and who may or may not have stolen some money. What does Rihanna do? Lock her in a trunk, hog-tie her, hang her from the rafters of a barn, strip her, force her to smoke a bong, drown her (almost) and make her bleed a lot. And then, after much hullabaloo, she kills her with a trusty chainsaw. (Don’t fret, Rihanna still gets her money.)
Shockingly, Internet people talked about this.
“It was not very feminist — not even very hashtag feminist — of Rihanna to ‘torture that poor rich lady’. That is because it is not very feminist to torture women. Even if they are white. Even if they are rich. Even if you are a woman yourself. Sorry if this comes as a surprise,” wrote Helen Lewis for the NewStatesman.
Let this be a lesson, kids: always pay your credit card bill.
Toronto Pride gets wet and wild
I don’t know about you, but we’re still finding glitter in the weirdest places. Toronto Pride 2015 was a smash success despite a rainy weekend, because you can’t rain on our parade, and it still rained men, or some other hilarious precipitous reference.
Seriously, gays were dancing outside with umbrellas. It was all very Mary Poppins, just with 50,000 Maries.
Magic Mike XXL disappoints, inspires full-frontal spin-off
The reviews are in, and they’re about as warm as Channing Tatum’s dopey stare. Being buff simply wasn’t enough for the Wall Street Journal’s Joe Morgenstern, who described the film as an “exuberant ramble.”
“Their dancing nearly covers the naked truth that there’s little substance to the story, with its notably soft and persistently sweet core.” Sounds a lot like double-stuffed Oreos, so it can’t be that bad, right?
Thankfully, the movie has spawned something even better than nearly-naked male strippers with no plotline: actual naked strippers with no plotline. Magic Mike XXXL: A Hardcore Parody, a porn spinoff, was dropped on July 1, and it offers something that its higher budget cousin does not: real-live penises. It even has a trailer!
Vogue writer suggests Cara Delevingne’s bisexuality is “a phase”
Some bisexual people are pretty peeved with Anna Wintour this week after an interview with Cara Delevingne suggested that the actress’ bisexuality was just a temporary thing, like waxed eyebrows or belly chains.
In the cover interview, Vogue writer Rob Haskell puts himself in the first-person, often offering unsolicited life advice to Delevigne, who is obviously just a sexually confused leaf blowing through the blustery winds of life.
“Cara says she felt confused by her sexuality as a child, and the possibility of being gay frightened her. ‘It took me a long time to accept the idea, until I first fell in love with a girl at 20 and recognized that I had to accept it,’ she explains. ‘But I have erotic dreams only about men. I had one two nights ago where I went up to a guy in the back of a VW minivan, with a bunch of his friends around him, and pretty much jumped him.’ Her parents seem to think girls are just a phase for Cara, and they may be correct. ‘Women are what completely inspire me, and they have also been my downfall. I have only been hurt by women, my mother first of all.’”
Hey Rob, don’t you need, like, a license to psycho-analyze people nowadays?
Homophobic Christian law school won’t be accredited in Ontario
Trinity Western University, an evangelical Christian law school opening next year in B.C., has again been rejected accreditation to practice in Ontario after a failed appeal. (Thank you, Jesus.) The Law Society of Upper Canada had previously refused to accredit the school, which does not allow students to engage in any sexual relationships that aren’t both heterosexual and locked in by marriage.
“In order to attend TWU, (LGBTQ persons) must sign a document in which they agree to essentially bury a crucial component of their very identity,” wrote the judges in their decision.
“Contrary to the contention of the applicants, that requiring persons to refrain from such acts does not intrude on the rights of LGBTQ persons, it is accepted that sexual conduct is an integral part of a person’s very identity. One cannot be divorced from the other.”
Which item of the Gay Agenda was your favourite? Let Vv Magazine know in the comments below, or tweet us @ViewtheVibe.