Whether you’re new to the dating game or a seasoned pro, one thing is for sure: awkward first dates suck. Relationship expert Jen Kirsch gives View The VIBE the scoop on how to escape the much dreaded meet up.
There are few things as uncomfortable as meeting someone you think you have a banging connection with, only to realize upon meeting ‘em that they’re nothing like the personality they projected via text. And yet, we’re often too kind or not bold enough to bid them adieu, saving us all time, money and the chance to meet up with a better suited mate, or buds that are better company.
Well it’s time to say how we really feel and not waste yet another moment in a situation we care not to be in. And so, I’ve put together a list of how to get TF out of a sh*tty Tinder date, because time is money. You’re welcome.
Never Set Up A Meal As A First Date
If you meet for a drink or coffee, you’re already ahead of the game. It gives you an easy out because you can have one cocktail and call it a day, or peace whenever the mood strikes. With a brunch or dinner, you’re locked in and have to go through the motions of the ordering, waiting for food, eating, then praying they don’t order dessert. If being upfront isn’t your thing, do yourself a favour and never commit to a date that involves any kind of eating on a first date.
Always Meet Halfway
When it comes to dating apps, you can change your settings to find a potential partners based on distance. Since I don’t have a car and live in a great area for date spots (what up, West Queen West!) I set my distance settings to 4km. This way, I can find a likeminded person who lives or hangs close by. The good thing about this is, you will feel less obligated to sit through a dreadful date when you know that you or the person you met up with didn’t have to go out of their way. If you match with someone who lives further, meet half way. It will take away that feeling of owing them your time.
When In Doubt, Guzzle Up! (Unless You’re Sober, Then Keep Reading More Suggestions Below)
If you’ve matched with someone on Tinder or Bumble or whatever dating app you’re on, and you know you have a bunch of mutual friends, it’s not easy to call it quits the second you see them IRL and realize they’re not at all what you thought they looked like. You can’t call the date short because you don’t want the word to get around that you’re a dick, so what do you do? Guzzle up. Maybe after a couple drinks you’ll loosen up and start to notice things you actually like about your date. If not, you’ll at least enjoy your time more and hey, might actually have the liquid courage to tell ‘em straight up that it’s not a romantic match but you’re up for enjoying your evening with them (out of the bedroom.) Bottoms up!
Your date walks in and you know within spotting them that there’s no chemistry. Instincts tell you it’s wrong to speak up, but honesty and authenticity are much more appreciated than you might think. Sure if you say right off the bat that “I’m going to be honest, I don’t think this is a match and I don’t want to waste your time,” you may come off strong, offensive and will make the person feel rejected, to an extent. But you are showing them that you value yourself and them enough to call a spade a spade. You’ll feel better about it after the fact. Just be sure to un-match with them on the dating app you met with right after you give the blow to avoid incoming, impulsive, spiteful messages from them. This method is all about being in control.
Birds of a feather flock together, which means singles often hang out with singles. The city is way smaller than you might think so if you’re going to tell a guy to peace out, make sure you do it with class. This will, hopefully, ensure you don’t ruin your options with others. Let’s face it, everyone takes pride in their Bumble and Tinder messages and tend to show them off accordingly. I’ve been out with a close friend as I message a guy on Bumble, only for her to tell me that she’s been messaging him too. So, end a date at your own risk and do so with class. Order an uber for your date when ending it so you don’t leave them in the middle of nowhere, newly dumped. Be upfront. Make sure they’re safe. It’s not them, my friend, it’s you.
Do you have any other tips on how to get out of a sh*tty first date? Leave us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.