In VTV’s latest installation of “Talk Dirty to Me with Sara Starkman…” our relationship expert explains how making the right resolutions can help you find your perfect mate.
First and foremost, if you saw the title of this article and desperately clambered to the link in hopes of finding “the answer” (or at least one of your friends tweeted it to you), you need to go take a cold shower, slap yourself in the face, and pick up that cheque from reality waiting for you at the post office. Why, you ask? Because the “right” resolutions aren’t what you expect them to be. And also, you’re kind of a hot mess (no offense).
If your resolutions this year involve getting a Tinder account or starting samba classes solely in the hopes that Javier or Maria (pronounced Ma-DEE-a, of course) will end up being your partner, you not only just halved your chances of meeting someone of substance, but whoever you do meet you will probably scare off with your less than steady (or fully stable) approach to love in 2014. How do I know this? Simple. When making resolutions or goals for the New Year, focusing on yourself is the only way to find someone. But Sara, that makes no sense! Au contraire mes amis, it makes perfect sense!
Being ready to dive head first into the game doesn’t necessarily mean throwing yourself into typical “where to find a date” situations. Most likely, if that’s your mentality, you aren’t quite ready for your dream partner because you aren’t quite ready to be someone else’s. What it does mean, however, is getting out and doing things while being open to whomever may come along. Thinking of it in this way immediately eliminates pressure from all parties involved in this constant quest for a mate. Not only will the type of energy you give off be less frenzied (and therefore less likely to scare off the person of interest or have them issue a restraining order on your crazy ass), but the more you invest in things that make you happy, the less concentrated you’ll be on finding someone and the less likely you’ll be disappointed over and over (and over) again. Not to mention the less time it will seem to take to find that special someone – as the old adage goes, time flies when you’re having fun.
So make resolutions that will work towards your personal contentedness and fulfillment as an individual. Forget the aim to get laid, the determination to make your ex jealous, or the intent to join as many random clubs that involve the opposite sex as possible. Hey… if you’re the only guy at cupcake décor class or the only girl at the carpentry convention, people will smell your calculated approach a mile away – and if everyone is boring and unattractive you’ll rue the day you ever clicked on that deal find website.
Well? What are you waiting for? Get outta here!