Oh, the Canada Day long weekend, a time when Canadians come together to raise our maple leaf flag, sing our national anthem and recall all the great historical tales that make our country so special. Just kidding! Most of the Canadians I know can’t even name the capital cities of each province, or even know how many provinces we have, for that matter. I’m pretty sure my friend DJ doesn’t even know that Canada isn’t part of the United States. You can’t really blame him though. His name is DJ and it doesn’t even stand for anything… and neither does DJ, except for a good party. In fact, “party” is DJ’s favourite verb and noun. Hey, if your parents slapped two letters on a birth certificate and called it a reasonable identity, you’d probably think Partytown, USA was the capital of Canada, too. A good party, though, is something all Canadians can get behind, and if you did your weekend up right and good, you probably feel like a*s today, just like DJ. That’s okay. Not too long ago, I wrote a story called Master Tips to Hide A Hangover to help you through such shameful, painful times. Consider today’s post a Part 2, a special post-Canada Day gift to you from me. Here are all the products you’ll need to detox from the long weekend.
Algenist Multi-Perfecting Detoxifying Exfoliator
This clay-based exfoliator is not only awesome for ridding you of the dead skin that you well-deservedly earned this weekend from adding more memories (or possibly blackouts) to your life, but it’s also good for people with acne prone skin. Breakouts tend to happen when our lifestyle changes abruptly, and if your Canada Day weekend is going down in history as your biggest rager of 2013 yet then – first off, good job! – polish your skin up with this ridiculously amazing exfoliator. Shed the layer that is last night’s party and get on with your work week, you rock star, you!
First Aid Beauty Detox Eye Roller
This metal eye roller not only feels fantastic under tired eyes, the only way cold metal can, it also contains caffeine, which constricts blood vessels and makes eyes look less puffy. It also has ingredients like Sodium Hyaluronate that increase collagen production to help with wrinkles too, but you’ll only really care about how good the cold, cold metal feels under those heavy, heavy eyes. Oh, the things they’ve seen! This is one to keep in the purse all day for pick-me-ups.
SkinCeuticals Redness Neutralizer
They had me at patent-pending NeuroMed Complex. This Redness Neutralizer helps reduce redness/ruddiness that makes sensitive skin look awful after a night out givin’ ‘er a bit too hard. I actually don’t even drink, but I still get flushed from a tad too much caffeine, and this stuff definitely reduces that splotchy-crazy look.
Clinique Moisture Surge Overnight Mask
You’re going to want to throw this bad boy on tonight before bed. After a weekend of partying hard, you’re skin’s dehydrated from drinking, lack of sleep and all that sun you took in going ape sh*t at the Trinity-Bellwoods Canada Day dog show hosted by Olivia Chow. Look, we’re not here to judge. Put this mask on before bed and tomorrow you’ll wake up fresh as new. We can’t help you erase the photographic evidence on Facebook from the weekend that was, but this will take away the tired lines on your face.
Jamieson Effervescent C 1,000 mg Tablets
Forget Gatorade. Pop a pack of these in your bag before you leave for the office and rehydrate throughout the day with a 1,000-milligram dose of Vitamin C. Sure, you’ll eventually go over your limit of how much vitamin C you need (um, did overdoing it stop you this weekend?), but you can’t actually overdose on Vitamin C. It tastes great too, so it will help you drink the tall glasses of water that you should have had before you went to bed last night. Happy July 2nd, everyone!