In VTV’s latest installation of “Talk Dirty to Me with Sara Starkman…” our relationship expert explains why being alone at the beginning of the holidays might be the best thing to happen to your dating life…
OK single girls and boys, I’m going to be straight up – and brutally honest – with you. The best way to handle the holidays as a single is to suck it up. That’s right, I said it; suck it up. Being single over the holidays doesn’t need to end with tears in your eggnog. After all, ‘tis the season to be jolly, right? So although you may not be getting a certain type of jollies, you still have friends and family around to make you laugh and feel celebratory.
Not convinced? Don’t worry, I’ve devised the ultimate singles’ holiday survival guide. Go forth and be brave, young singletons.
Sara’s Holiday Survival Guide:
1) Make sure you surround yourself with people you love and couples that don’t Snapchat photos of themselves in matching elf uniforms. Or, disable Snapchat until January.
2) Be wary of holiday weight gain. Now I don’t say this because I’m one of those girls that hasn’t had a bagel in years (heaven forbid!). Au contraire. I’m all for that fifth party sandwich at your client luncheon, that box of chocolates (yes box) to keep you company during National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, an eighth latka… When you’re single and feeling slightly more self-conscious (and, sometimes, self-loathing) about your relationship status, weight gain is the last thing you need. You want to enter the New Year feeling fit, fabulous and not at all like Grandpa’s stuffed Turkey.
3) Realize that the less sorry your feel for yourself, the more positive energy you will give off, drawing more fabulous people towards you. Sounds like a load of reindeer sh*t, but it’s really just a simple chain of events. If you feel good about yourself, people take notice… in a good way. And who knows? Sometimes swanky parties and one too many Peppermint Schnapps cocktails can be a great way to meet someone.
4) Masturbate. It makes you feel good, calm, and less likely to go home with the ex-con from I.T. at the office holiday party. Trust me, your secretary will see everything.
5) Finally, remember that at times like these, the grass is always greener. Celebrating the holidays with two different families (or deciding whose celebration to go to- eek! Batten down the hatches; the pre- holiday argument is about to begin) can be kind of brutal. For many couples, it’s their first time meeting each other’s families (AWKWARD!), or learning about a new tradition (“do you know what a dreidel is son?”) and figuring out “the perfect gift” for your partner is often more stress than it’s worth, “CAN’T WE JUST BE BUDDHIST?”
So take a deep breath, relish in the days you have off of work, and then put aside the amount of money you would normally spend on a partner’s gift, and treat yourself to an early “I’m single this holiday season” treat, because so what?