Thanks to social media, whether we want to admit it or not, we’d all like to believe that we’re pseudo-celebrities in our own right. I mean people wouldn’t like your Instagram photos if you didn’t deserve it, right? With TIFF 2013 finally underway, it’s time to take your pseudo-celebrity status to the next level, so here’s how to get mistaken for a celeb during festival season. While your immediate instinct may be to glam it up, it’s the little nuances that separate the celebrity from the general population. So keep these in mind as you stroll the streets attempting to have paparazzi take your picture.
Go For a ‘No Makeup’ Look
There are two kinds of makeup-free looks: those that grace the covers of tabloids and feature stars looking rough and unrecognizable, and those carefully styled ‘natural’ shoots designed to look makeup free that any discerning human over the age of 5 can tell is actually a heavily styled attempt at looking natural. As a pseudo-celeb, you’re going to want to aim for the latter. A true celebrity is never caught off guard, so even if you’re just heading to the store for some kale (celebs love clean eating), you better be looking photo shoot fresh, effortlessly of course.
Limousines are so passé. The ultimate way to ride in style requires sitting in the rear of your very own SUV, complete with driver. And by driver, we mean your friend who owes you a favour and is willing to chauffeur you around for the day. SUVs help celebrities feel closer to us commoners, while the tinted windows and driver keep them decidedly aloof. The key to celebrity SUV is urgency – you have to hop in and hop out as if your life (or red carpet premiere) depends on it.
Whoever said sun was a prerequisite for sunglasses was lying, or hasn’t visited the club district in a very long time, but I digress. Sunglasses are the celebrity’s best friend because they keep the people guessing. No one will be able to tell whether it’s you or Jennifer Aniston with a pair of strategically oversized sunnies, so use the accessory to your advantage.
After a night on the town attending TIFF 2013 soirees, celebrities need to recharge and what better way than with Canada’s unofficial national drink — coffee. Celebrities may be tiny in real life, but they sure do like their coffees large. Bonus points if you emerge from the coffee shop wearing sunglasses and return quickly to a waiting SUV.
The first rule of celebrity is to always look effortless without actually being so. Celebrities never have nasty nails, no matter the occasion, so kiss the chipped pink polish goodbye. Even if it’s just a nude nail, your hands better be smoother than George Clooney is with women.