No matter what side you’re on, whether you’re the heartbreaker or heartbroken, breaking up is never easy. Vv Magazine’s relationship expert, Jen Kirsch, gives us her tried, tested and true tips on how to get over a break-up.
I’m here to tell you that you will be ok. I’m here to also tell you that – though you want the quickest fix in the world to get over the-asshole-whose-name-will-go-unmentioned – there is no pill or magic fix to make this pain go away. There is, however, a way to speed up the process, the first step being acceptance. The sooner you accept that it’s over (and stop trying to plot to get him back), the sooner you’ll be able to get over the break-up. Ready to get there? Follow my tried, tested and true tips.
Delete/Block your ex from social media
Every time his name pops up on your feed (or you stalk his social), you’ll be triggered. If he’s doing something you guys always did together, you’ll feel left out. If he’s doing something he never did with you or is out with someone you’ve never heard of, you’ll think he’s moving on and feel crushed. Other updates and images are ambiguous enough that it leaves too much up to the imagination. To avoid all negative triggers, know you can have control. It starts by deleting and/or blocking your ex from all social media.
Hide status updates from his squad
Even if you remove your ex from your online world, chances are his friends still fill your feeds. On Facebook, there’s the option to hide posts. You don’t need to delete them because chances are you’ve developed friendships of your own with ‘em, but hiding their posts ensures that you-know-who won’t pop up on your feed, causing insecurity that will make you think you need him back in your life. You don’t.
Get TF out
Comfortable as your bed might be, it isn’t doing you any favours by spending all your time in it on evenings and weekends. Get out. Keep busy. Going out to events will force you to put a smile on your face (because no one likes that girl who spends every waking minute talking about how her ex made a huge mistake). The more you act as if everything is fine, the more it will start to feel that way… Eventually.
Something as simple (and superficial) as a blow-out, a fresh mani-pedi, new highlights, or a waxing sesh can make you feel put together on the outside even when you’re feeling anything but on the inside. Splurge. Treat yo’self. There are a handful of mani bars that serve booze now too, so make a girls day out of it. If nothing else, a fresh look will help you put a pep in your step. And hey, you might even turn a few heads while at it. Talk about win-win.
Create a routine with your bestie
Arrange a weekly get-together that will make you accountable. Perhaps every Monday night you two can get together for a healthy home-cooked meal while watching the latest episode of The Bachelorette. This will give you a once-a-week check-in point with your bestie (it’s key during a break up to have a strong support system,) but it will also allow you to see how the guys act after the bachelorette doesn’t give them the much sought-after rose. It will be a good wake-up call of the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes time for a split and will hopefully knock some sense into you. Everyone appreciates someone who takes the high road when it comes to a split.
Some other suggestions:
- Get a one-month unlimited yoga membership
- Download a slew of dating apps
- Get reading (pick up a guilty pleasure novel and escape in it)
- Have a rebound hook up (not a rebound relationship)
Follow relationship columnist @jen_kirsch.
How do you get over a break-up? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.