On weekdays, I’m a night-time showerer. On a cold and dark winter morning, there’s nothing more upsetting to me than the thought of waking up and blasting my tired body with pelting water. I’m having flashbacks to my past life as a scapegoat in the Salem witch hunts just thinking about it. If I liked that kind of unnecessary drama in my life, I’d watch Homeland. That said, there are possibly some mornings when I should take a shower, but still choose not to. Fortunately, I’ve got just the right products to turn a day without a shower into a full-fledged beauty statement.
Marc Anthony 2nd Day Clear Dry Shampoo
If you’ve yet to become a part of the dry shampoo revolution, you’re missing out. I don’t even really like dry shampoo for the reasons I’m supposed to. Sure, it makes day-old hair seem less oily, but better still, it gives you mad root-lifting volume and amazing texture to work with for out-of-control awesome updos… which leads me to my next product.
Stylize Bun Maker
You can get one of these bad boys at Shoppers Drug Mart. Tie a high ponytail on the crown of your head and then pull your hair through the bun maker and wrap your hair messily (or neatly, depending on the look you’re going for) around the donut and secure with bobby pins. I like to then pull a few strands out and loosen my hair with my fingers around the roots for a tortured artist look. Hey, you were the one who decided not to shower today. You may as well rock it full force.
Consonant Clay Exfoliating Cleansing Bar
Since you didn’t bother to wash your body, you should at least plan on having a really clean face because your makeup should be killer today. Right now, I’m all about Consonant Clay Exfoliating Cleansing Bar, which contains 10% marine clay from the Manicouagan Peninsula in Quebec. Not only does that make me feel like a true bohemian washing my face with clay, I’ve never felt so damn refreshed and renewed in the morning than with this stuff. Take that, menacing shower!
LUSH Gorilla Perfume in Euphoria and Sun
These two fragrances smell the way I imagine Joni Mitchell would have smelled on a good day in the ’70s. They’re spicy and citrusy at the same time, and you could easily convince someone that you’re wearing a unique fragrance you learned to make while on a month-long silence retreat in India. The best part is, the bottles are so tiny, you can carry them around in your purse for midday touch-ups.
Rimmel Exaggerate Waterproof Eye Definer in Deep Ocean
If you’re going to skip a shower, let your laziness inspire your whole aesthetic for the day. I usually opt for a I-just-rolled-out-of-bed-with-my-makeup-from-the-night-before look, which obviously equates to smoky eyes. This sexy blue liner from Rimmel has a pop of colour that gives the traditional smoky look a sexy twist and draws attention to your eyes… instead of your armpits… or dirty hair… or whatever else it is you’re secretly worried people are judging you for.