In VTV’s latest installation of “Talk Dirty to Me with Sara Starkman…” our relationship expert explains how making resolutions with your partner can really help make them stick.
The New Year is here! And although you’re probably feeling blue from the holidays coming to an end (and looking blue from the never-ending bout of snowstorms), there is a light at the end of the tunnel: New Year’s resolutions! Now I know most of you probably just held up a middle finger to the screen (tut, tut), but hear me out. New Year’s resolutions are actually a great way to stay positive and inspired (until summer rolls around and then it’s just beer on sun, sun on beer… non?).
The hook lies in whether or not you have it in yourself to sit down and think up realistic and achievable goals… and then go after them. How many times have you resolved to go to the gym four times a week and stopped going altogether by March? How many times have you resolved to stop smoking and started buying packs again by Valentine’s Day? Now, I’m not judging. I’ve spent many a year making resolutions that ended up on a word document buried deep within the murky depths of my hard drive never to be seen again. But I’ve found that since being in a serious relationship, it’s become much easier to make reasonable goals and stick with them. You just have to think of your partner like a free New Year’s resolution personal trainer who you get to play in the sheets with! Sounds like a sweet deal, right? Keep in mind, however, that there are some things to be mindful of when making resolutions as a duo…
1 You have to both really want to achieve that same end goal, otherwise one person won’t be as committed and that can be a real drag (and cause for a number of frustrating arguments).
2 If one person is excelling at a faster rate (ie. men losing weight at a ridiculously unfair speed), try to use that to motivate you further and remind yourself that you’re different people with different bodies. Don’t let it discourage you and serve as fodder for arguments.
3 Make sure you remember to continually praise and encourage your partner.
4 If you need to cheat, do not do it in front of your partner and hinder their progress. This doesn’t mean you should hide things: you can communicate that you have cheated, or that you are tempted to, but make sure you aren’t the reason for both of you taking a step back.
5 Fake it until you make it. This means staying positive about your goals even when you feel like crying, pulling your hair out or punching a small child. Putting on a brave face for your partner will make you feel more positive without even realizing it.
By the end of the year you’ll have accomplished something huge together and that type of experience will only make your bond stronger and better your memories of the past year!