Most Offensive Tees Ever: From “Period Power” to “Eat Less”

With the release of the “Period Power” T-shirt, American Apparel is trying to out-do Miley Cyrus in what it’s willing to show off to America. The question remains: will anyone actually pay $32 to sport a menstruating vagina across their chest? It’s not the first shirt to make us question all that’s wrong with current society. Here are the most offensive T-shirts of all time, starting with “Period Power”…

American Apparel’s “Period Power” T-shirt
It’s so hard to know what to wear to all those synchronized menstrual cycle parties, amirite girls? Fortunately, 20-year-old Toronto artist Petra Collins created the perfect T-shirt, called “Period Power,” or as it’s better known in its brief 24 hours of internet fame: the Vagina Shirt. Before you get all “Could this portrait of a menstruating vagina featuring a hand busy masturbating have anti-feminist undertones insinuating that women aren’t f*ckable on their periods?” please don’t use your brain too quickly, ladies. Clearly, this Collins and American Apparel collaboration is empowering! After all, half of the proceeds go to The Arduous, an all-female online art collective, which means it benefits women and therefore must be a bold feminist statement, right? And Collins is known for her work “exploring female sexuality and teen girl culture.” Funny, we thought American Apparel was known for exploring female sexuality and teen girl culture, too.

Urban Outfitter’s “Eat Less” T-shirt
Just when you thought Urban Outfitters couldn’t do enough to make overpriced drug paraphernalia cool to upper middle class kids, they debuted the “Eat Less” T-shirt a few years ago. Is anorexia the new stoner chic in fauxhemia fashion? The sad part is, a real anorexic would need this t-shirt to come with long sleeves because starving to death starts to feel cold after a while. Duh, Urban Outfitters, duh…

JCPenney’s “I’m too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me” T-shirt
Fitting girls aged 7 through 16, this shirt is obviously perfect for those formative years when a young girl’s self-esteem is evolving. It’s never too early to learn that boys are better at math and that intelligence is the most dangerous threat to beauty.

Abercrombie & Fitch’s “Who needs brains when you have these?” T-shirt
Before we get to how offensive this T-shirt is, we’d like to point out that, if you need to spell out that you have big breasts on your T-shirt instead of, you know, just wearing a T-shirt, your boobs might not be as big as you think they are. And then we’d like to point out that, if you’ve decided to use your boobs instead of your brain to get ahead in life and you still have a shirt on, you’re already failing miserably.

American Apparel’s “Teenagers Do It Better” T-Shirt
Just in case the “Period Power” shirt was starting to grow on you, we thought we’d point out that American Apparel teamed up controversial and highly sexualized Electric Youth Magateen for “Teenagers Do It Better” T-shirt line in 2011. What do teenagers do better according to AA, you ask, besides Olympic gymnastics and believing in their dreams? Um, have you seen an American Apparel ad?