In as long as it takes you to read this brief, well-composed, 500-800 word online article, someone, somewhere will have had a quicky-of-a-first-date and be ready to hit up their next match. Okay fine, maybe not. But pretty. Damn. Close. Because we are millennials, hear us roar. And roar do we ever.
We’re raunchy, reckless, ravenous young things, swiping our days away and romping away our nights. We’re going on dates day in and day out and holy hell it’s no wonder why men are ordering water on first dates – what happened to chivalry? Wining and dining? – and women are covering their own tabs because we’d all be broke by now if we didn’t have some sort of contingency plan (oh, right). I mean how else is one to afford this lifestyle of leisure on this merry go round of dating around?
Sure, you went on an early-eve date with someone and it was descent. And maybe you’ll see each other again (there was definitely some sort of chemistry when he stuck his tongue down your throat, so who knows what else could come?) but maybe there’s someone better. Maybe you don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket because when you do that, you end up getting hurt. Not always, but it’s happened and it’s a feeling we tend to avoid repeating.
And so, for every one cocktail date, there’s a nightcap waiting in the wings. Because we’re needy little fucks and if we leave a sort of meh/underwhelming/maybe-see-you-next-time-maybe-not situation, we know we at least have the option to go on one last date while we’re still dressed up in our new outfit, with our fresh mani and wax and whatever your pre-date prep consists of. Why waste all that vivaciousness on your couch in front of Netflix when you can bang out another date?
Labels aren’t the cutest and I get it. People say it’s too much or too aggro to go on multiple dates, whether it be the same night, the same weekend, the same week, etc. But with practice comes perfect. So I say, go for it. Let your coupled up, married friends with kids (or mom or whoever is the judger in your support network) judge all they damn well want. You do you, baby girl.
We put so much energy into people we barely even know, but we think we know them (“he’s different with me”) after spending three back-to-back dates with them baring our souls and feeling seen/heard/acknowledged. And then, when he ghosts or gets busy or does any of these horrific dating disasters, we give ourselves a hard time, asking why he would do that to us when we were oh-so-loving and cool and easy. These thoughts cause us to feel unworthy and less than.
Well, fuck that shit. There are plenty of fish (on the app!) and if someone isn’t willing to settle down with you after getting to know your amazing self, then it’s better they peace out early on. Their loss. To the left.
So this is why I suggest – if it fits your aesthetic – going on multiple dates, and if you end something new with another, don’t tell yourself you’re a bad person or a low down dirty hoe if you want to get back out on that horse, borderline asap. Go catch that D!
Because we don’t owe anyone but a thing until we’ve had The Talk and we’ve made a commitment to them. Of course, be safe. Of course, don’t make a habit out of it. Of course, don’t promote it. But, at the end of the day, we all have the same goddamn goal: to find love, to fall in love, to love and to be loved in return. And if you’re busy AF running a company, travelling for work going in and out of meetings, dealing with family BS, and juggling seeing friends – all who are coupled up and married, mind you – AND trying to run your place AND personal life, you gotta make shit happen when you actually have one second to make shit happen.
We judge and look down on people and label them not so chic names when they juggle partners, when in fact, we should be applauding them. If you’re going to put yourself out there, I say put yourself out there. Look for what you’re looking for. If you get all dolled up for a date, make that outfit and confidence and inner self-worth good vibes work and use it to choo-choo-train around the god damn city one Bumble/Tinder/Happn date at a time.
RELATED LINK: 7 Dating Trends that Confused the F*ck Out of Us in 2016
Do you agree with Jen Kirsch’s advice? Why or why not? Let Vv Magazine know in the comments or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.