If you suspect your partner is cheating, chances are you’re right or just deeply paranoid. Instead of going on a doomed and twisted game of Who-you-dun?, why not just have a calm and collected conversation about what’s going on in your relationship? You might get to the bottom of why your lover has been working late without making unwarranted accusations, or, on the flip side, you might be shown some nude photos you then can’t unsee. Just an idea. That said, perhaps you’re dating a total chicken sh*t who refuses to own up to having a “side project” and you’re looking for evidence to justify putting the final nail in the coffin that is your romance. Here are signs your partner is cheating…
The Phone Weirdness Begins
We all demand a certain amount of privacy when it comes to our personal cell phones, even from our significant others. But it’s another thing to bring your iPhone with you every time you go to the bathroom. If your partner suddenly has a lock code, erases text histories, takes so-called work phone calls that seem disjointed and uncomfortable, you might have a cheatin’ heart on your hands. Only a 21st century cuckold searches his or her lover’s phone for sext messages and strange phone numbers; a true sleuth knows that the lack of phone history tells the real story.
Suddenly your lover is coming home smelling of fresh deodorant and recently soaped up skin. Even the most advanced cheaters – ie. those who bring a gym bag full of their own products to their secret lover’s place to clean up after their scandalous rendezvous – still can’t find a way to smell like they’ve spent the last eight hours in a cubicle. Even Demeter doesn’t make an “Eau de Stale Office Air” fragrance. It’s one thing if your partner legitimately starts going to CrossFit classes after work, but if the freshness is still a thing after drinks with friends, late nights at the office, and dentist appointments, what you’re really smelling is trouble.
Social Media Distancing
Once upon a time you were in your partner’s Facebook profile pic; these days you get reamed out for even tagging your lover in a photo. Sure, your partner might claim he or she is trying to keep a lower profile, but unless your significant other is running for office (and let’s be serious, it’s not like a damning YouTube video could even get a person in trouble in Canadian politics these days), chances are there’s someone else in the picture, at least figuratively speaking. Cheaters might not have the balls to end relationships in real life, but contemporary two-timers tend to distance themselves either consciously or subconsciously from their committed relationships online. Oh, the tangled (world wide) web we weave…
The Mysterious Extra Mileage
Does the car have more miles on it than usual? Even if you don’t share or even own a vehicle, perhaps it took your partner two hours to go get milk from the store. Don’t jump the gun on this one just in case you ruin your surprise birthday party by crying “dirt bag,” but know that more than a month of inexplicable extra miles and lost time is a serious red flag.
Hot and Cold Behaviour
Cheaters tend to be moody jerks, mainly because they’re not processing their own emotions properly. On the one hand, they want to believe they’re the sh*t for pulling off two relationships at once and for being such a sex bomb that they can. On the other, they’re ridden with guilt and anxiety over their mounting lies and acts of betrayal. Does asking your partner a simple question like, “Are you free Saturday night?” lead to a heated rant about your possessive, controlling ways? If your mate seems to be finding any and every reason to pick a fight or take offense to the things you do and say, something’s up besides his or her blood pressure. When the compliments and physical affection also start to dwindle, forget looking for proof that you’re being cheated on. You’re in a crappy relationship either way. Dump the dud and get back out there. Sure, you’ll eventually get a Facebook message when your ex sees how happy you look in your new profile pic with your new, more worthy romantic partner. Don’t respond. Nothing breaks a cheater’s heart quite like realizing someone they once had a meaningful relationship with now won’t stoop to their level.
Do you have other tell-tale signs of cheating? Comment below or tweet us @ViewtheVibe!