Everyone is doing it these days. Many, even before the official first date. A plethora on the first night, and even those who are settled down in happy and healthy relationships and marriages. The it I’m talking about is sexting. Whether we like it or not, chances are we’ve been both the sender and receiver of sexts aplenty.
To ensure you don’t regret a seemingly-sensual-sext come morning, here’s a go-to guide, to school you in the A, B, C’s of sexting, no ifs ands or buts.
A: Always Be Aware Of Your Audience
– Any sext can be screen grabbed, saved, forwarded and shared. Don’t send a sext or say anything that you wouldn’t want anyone else to see and that you wouldn’t feel comfortable being taken out of context
– Before you press send be sure you are sending the sext to the right person. If you have more than one ‘Martin’ in your phone, make sure to add their last name in your contact list so you don’t accidently send a sext to a family member instead of your new crush
– If you’re dating someone who is very private and conservative, a revealing picture won’t be the best approach. Mirror their sexts, if you feel comfortable returning the favour, to ensure you don’t freak the recipient out and to make it clear that you’re on the same page
B: Be Bold
– Sexting can be fun, so long as you trust the person you are sexting with. But sexting loses its finesse when you use inneundos. Chances are the recipient has no clue WTF you’re talking about, and it leaves them sitting there trying to figure out (and assume) what you mean. Be straightforward with what you’re saying and what you want.
– The more descriptive the better. Think of the 5 W’s we learned in grade school: Who, what, where, why, when, how and try to use these directions to help be specific when sexting, for his pleasure
– Men are visually stimulated beings. Send a suggestive image, but be sure not to show your face or any identifiable qualities relating to you, to keep up the allure (and to protect yo’self)
C: Cliches Are A No-No
– The more general your one-liners, the less he’ll be interested. Through sexting you’re trying to not only tempt your partner, but train them on what appeals to you sexually. If you’re not into getting spanked, don’t put it in words. To make the sext specific to yours and his chemistry, relate back to the last roll in the hay you had for optimal allure.
– Re-use material. I’m sure you’ve had some sexting fails as well as some sexting successes in your day. If a particular line worked well in the past on someone else, feel free to use it on him if it applies and feels natural. But if that’s the case, make sure he doesn’t have a mutual connection to the last one. Nothing is more embarrassing than being caught for reusing the same material on the same guy. That said, if it works, why fix it? Use caution.
– The number one trait men are most attracted to in woman is confidence. Just because he initiates sexting, doesn’t mean you have to sext back if you don’t feel comfortable. If he asks for a picture, you can give him a playful response and tell him he’ll have to use his imagination this time. The more honest and authentic you are, the more respect he’ll have with you. Only do what you’re comfortable with, despite what your friends or magazines are telling you to say to “seal the deal.”
What are some of your tips and tricks to sexting? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.