Dear Miss Bananas In Pajamas,
Do you remember me, because I certainly remember you! I was the lady, and I don’t use that term loosely, who kept doing double takes. You looked so toasty warm in your jammies that I must admit that I was a little envious. Your gray onesie looked so cozy, but I do have to admit that I was a little saddened that your jammies were not of the footie variety. I also feel that a hood would have made your outfit a little jauntier. I was too shy to suggest that, what with your Fendi purse and sparkly sneakers, you already were a fashion do.
So many things ran through my mind when I saw your outfit. Would my unicorn onesie be out of place on the subway? Would people judge me for my iridescent horn? Would the plastic inserts on the feet cause me to slip and slide or would shoes be more appropriate to wear with my ensemble? Would my YSL purse make or break my outfit? Would the black purse be too harsh against my whimsical pastels? Would people try to unbutton the trap door? By the way, did you know that you don’t have a trap door on your jam jams? Going to the little girl’s room must be hell for you. I highly recommend you invest in a onesie with this small saviour. If you ever have a bathroom emergency, you are kind of screwed. Just keeping it real.
Finally, and most importantly, I pondered if I introduced myself, if you would tell me that your name was B1 or B2, much like the beloved Bananas in Pajamas cartoon from the 1990s. I suspected by your cowering boyfriend that you were more of a B1. Oh cheese and whiskers, I’ll just have to keep wondering about this for the rest of my life.
I know that many of you will call this a jumpsuit, but a jumpsuit is not made out of fuzzy material. They also usually have some belt or tailoring unless they are those denim ones that look more like a mechanic’s coveralls (no shade thrown at mechanics).
Until we meet again at our next slumber party,
The Lady with the Street Clothes
PS – The TTC is the better way when it comes to getting around the city. I am mocking the situations that I often find myself in, not the mode of transportation.