Dear Mr. Frozen Fruit,
I know that you don’t remember me, but I certainly remember you. I first noticed your backpack featuring my FAVOURITE Disney Princesses – Anna and Elsa! I wanted to ask if you would rather chill out with fearless Anna or let it go with feminist Elsa. I think I’m more of an Elsa girl, but only because I like her magical powers and the ice castle that she built. I always wanted to live in a castle – how about you Mr. Frozen Fruit???
I digress….but princesses do that to me. Anyway, it was when I was going to ask you that very question, and commend you for your brave fashion choice, that I noticed a plate of fruit on your head! You were even thoughtful enough to include a fork (although a napkin would have been nice too). I believe it was juicy, delectable pineapple with a side of less desirable, at least to me, honeydew melon. Frankly, honeydew is a honey don’t to me. Why couldn’t you have included some zesty citrus or a juicy red apple, much like the one found in Snow White?
I was hoping to scoop some of the pineapple up, but didn’t want to be considered a picky eater. I was also not certain whose mouth that fork had been in if you know what I mean. Sadly, the fruit remained on the plate. I am however, astounded at your ability to balance it on your head. Your posture is magnificent! Or was it glued onto your hat? Like the Caramilk secret and who killed JFK, we will always have to wonder….
Until then, I remain frigidly yours,
Produce & Disney Princess Loving Lady