I’ve only been on Tinder for about five weeks in total, and it has already revolutionized my life. I’m not being facetious, I swear. In fact, I was incredibly skeptical about joining. Given that once upon a time a few years ago I tried online dating. I was totally turned off by how frequently guys (and I’m sure the flip-side is true, gentlemen, so I’m not saying women aren’t guilty of the same thing) didn’t live up to the mini autobiography they wrote about themselves. “Musician” and “hobbyist” are not the same thing… and unemployment isn’t pronounced “actor.”
I thought Tinder might be just like Grindr for straight people… and I was right – it is, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Hear me out: I have plenty of gay friends who met their current boyfriends on Grindr. As much as it has a reputation for being a hookup site, it’s actually a healthy mix of the two and finally we straights have something comparable.
I used to be envious of my roommate as he sat in bed at night talking to guys on Grindr… And I grew even more envious when he eventually met his current beau on there. They’ve been happily in love for almost a year now. Why couldn’t I have the same chance for love and lust at my fingertips? Enter Tinder…
The matching part of Tinder is easy. Once you like someone and he or she likes you, it’s always exciting to see the “It’s A Match!” bubble pop open. An exciting reminder that you are superficially lovable. Hey, who doesn’t like to feel like complete strangers want to jump his or her bones. Especially when the feeling is mutual? But a blank talk bubble does not a Tinder hookup or relationship make. You’ve got to get the conversation started if the mutual attraction is going to go anywhere. How do you stand out on Tinder when all you’re working with is a mutual lusting for each other’s best Facebook profile photos? Here’s how to get conversations started on Tinder…
Start With A Photo-Inspired Question
Trust me, you don’t want to come across as the kind of person who has a stock Tinder conversation starter question in their back pocket. I’m guilty of starting off this way when I was but a Tinder newbie five weeks ago. My stock question, which I thought was so clever at the time, was, “What’s your most useless hidden talent?” Don’t get me wrong, a lot of guys played along. But when one dude called me out for using a stock question, I realized he was right. Even though we’re all using the same app to meet strangers, that doesn’t mean Tinder users aren’t all worthy of their own special question to kick off a one-on-one text talk.
The best way to start a Tinder conversation is by looking through your new match’s photos to find a visual that inspires a cool question. For instance, the guy I’m about to see tonight (right after I write this article) got the conversation going with me by inquiring about an eccentric black and purple hat I’m wearing in the last of my six Tinder photos. “That’s quite a hat,” he wrote. “Is that strictly worn at horse racing and British weddings or is it more diverse than that?” It was cute, witty, and made me want to reply immediately. When I told him it was my horse race hat, we had stuff to talk about. That’s all you need: a starting point.
Use Shared Interests & Shared Friends In A Creative Way
It’s easy to forget that there’s information on Tinder outside of approximately six photos and the giant “X” or “Like/Heart” buttons. It’s like taking your heart to the casino and playing the slots. That said, shared interests and shared friends definitely come in handy when you notice you and a Tinder match share something in common. Don’t ask a lame question like, “What’s your favourite Radiohead album?” or “How do you know [insert shared friend’s name]?” Get creative. When you get advanced at this, try to pick your strangest shared interest and role with that. I once chatted up a guy based on our mutual interest in GQ. Don’t believe me? Check out this talk bubble below:
Pretend To Be Reaching Out For Tinder Dating Advice/Help
Okay, this is probably slightly terrifying to some people. But every once in a while after a fresh match comes up (so I know the Tinder match is online) and I assume the guy has a good sense of humour based on his photos, I like to pretend that I’m currently on a Tinder date that’s going terribly wrong. I ask the new Tinder match for advice on how to get out of the situation. I try to keep it as fun and playful as possible so he can at least get the sense that I’m joking and will thus be willing to roll with it. This gives both parties involved the opportunity to showcase their quick wit. I once told a guy I was hiding in my own kitchen cupboard from a Tinder date who was still in my apartment. His advice on how to scare him out of my place was side-splitting.
Just Cut To The Chase
It’s Tinder, not Downton Abbey. If you think your Tinder match is cute, why not ask him or her out right away? That’s when you can make like Lady Mary and suggest a walk. If I’m meeting someone right off the bat, I’ll usually say something like, “We’re 3km away. Want to meet at wherever 1.5km is and see what happens?” It’s basic, kinda cheesy, and not all that creative. But sometimes that’s all you need to get the conversation going in the real world. You don’t have to take my word for it, but I’m late for a Tinder date now precisely because I talk to strangers.