It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when the Ugg-wearing, tights-loving, PSL-drinking masses used their influence to invade supermarkets everywhere with their pumpkin spices. It might have started with cookies and other baked goods, but it’s spread like the most basic of viruses. Here are some of the oddest pumpkin-spiced products that will soon be hitting the shelves of grocery stores near you.
Glade Pumpkin Spice Wax Melts
Don’t want to cook an actual pie? Don’t worry, Glade will make your house smell like a waxy chemical pie for you. Yum!
Country Crock Pumpkin Spice Spread
Pumpkin spice butter? This has gone entirely too far. If your toast needs to taste more like pie, then stop eating toast and go for a run. Immediately.
JELL-O Pumpkin Spice Pudding
In case your latte isn’t quite thick enough, the folks at JELL-O have you covered with their pumpkin spice pudding. It’s a seasonal product — so be sure to get yours now!
Whipped Peanut Butter & Pumpkin Pie Spice Flavored Spread
Whipped peanut butter mixed with pumpkin pie spice sounds like someone turned a pregnancy craving into a real life thing. Also, gross.
Yankee Candle Concentrated Spiced Pumpkin Room Spray
Apparently everyone wants to smell pumpkin pie without the terrible trouble of making one. Did everyone just forget that pumpkin pie is freaking delicious?
Pumpkin Spice Oreos
They probably taste like an edible version of the concentrated room spray. I’m just guessing, but I don’t want to risk actually putting it in my mouth. Fortunately, we can’t get them in Canada.
Pumpkin Spice Almonds
Why are we flavouring nuts with pie spices? What is the rationale here? Mmm, these almonds are delicious, but they need to taste more like the latte I had yesterday.
Among other things that the marketing geniuses in charge of product development have thought of: Pumpkin Spice Pringles, Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses, Pumpkin Spice M&M’s, and Pumpkin Spice Trident Layers. We’ve gone so far that everyone believed a pumpkin spice flavoured condom was a real life thing. It wasn’t, but it might be. Next year.
What are your thoughts on Pumpkin Spiced everything? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.
