So you’re not really that into the whole ‘Christmas’ thing. The magical twinkle of lights on balconies across the street merely clutters your view, the light dusting of snow on the ground just pisses off your dog because he gets salt in his paws which he then traipses into the house to leave white residue on your new floors and oh yeah, WHY IS IT SO DAMN COLD?! We get it. The wonder of the holiday season is perhaps not so wonderful to all. In fact, is it not you who every year proclaims as you open another pair of reindeer underwear “we’re going away next Christmas” only to fall subject to guilt trips and calendar conflicts?
Well, it’s high time you gifted yourself with the Christmas you’ve always wanted, away from the house calls, the gift wrapping and the sheer expense of buying for everyone else. If you’re not going to be in the country, the expectations dramatically decrease (why do you think I immigrated?). Imagine the pressure that is lifted when your response to every festive query is the same: Going on vacation. With those three magic words you are exempt from all those tedious festive mingles with people you don’t really enjoy or even know that well. If you time it just right you won’t be required to put up a tree nor will you spend hours looking for a Secret-Santa-under-$10 to bring to your awkward office holiday party because you won’t even be here!
Whether you’re looking to jaunt off last minute or you want to pre-book to assure that there are no excuses this time next year, here are a few places to consider so that you may enjoy your perfect holiday with your toes in the sand and your face in a Mai Tai. Merry bloody Christmas to you!
Above: St. Barts, courtesy of St. Barts Tourism.
Bora Bora
The ultimate in luxury island escapism, Bora Bora is surrounded by both a lagoon and a barrier reef. This is the place where you are likely to stay in a bungalow on stilts above the water and I’d say that’s pretty darn tropical. Add to that warm, turquoise water and white sand beaches and you may not want to come home.
Montego Bay, Jamaica
This popular destination is home to just 15 of the 635 miles of coastline that Jamaica has but if you’re looking for postcard-worthy beaches, you won’t be disappointed here. Rising popularity over the years has seen an increase in luxury resorts offering all-inclusive deals so you can stay within steps of the beach and the bar. Wouldn’t want to exert yourself, you’re on vacation!
Kaikoura, New Zealand
For those who want some serious heat to warm up those winter bones, here you’ll be smack-bang in the middle of the summer season. The more adventurous will love the hike through the rainforest of the Kaikoura mountain range while an abundance of marine activities includes the tranquility of snorkelling and scuba diving. Instead of turkey for Christmas dinner you may find yourself catching your own feast with the local fishermen.
St. Barts
Get your celebrity on with a trip to the Caribbean’s playground for the rich and famous. This elite island may find you air-kissing strangers and wearing your shades indoors when you return home but no doubt you’ll have the Christmas you dreamed of surrounded by beach bars, designer shopping and world class dining. Just don’t go buying a yacht while you’re there… those things are expensive to upkeep.
Mauritius
Set in the Indian Ocean this idyllic island was the only home of the extinct Dodo bird and if it was good enough for them it’s good enough for this list. And if that isn’t selling you I am sure the beautiful sapphire waters and powdery beaches will accommodate you just nicely. The island residents speak mostly English and French so that should make it far easier to communicate just how you like your margarita.
