And the prize for Canada’s most unhappy city goes to… surprise, surprise, Toronto. With an ex-mayor that was once kicked out of the Mandarin for public intoxication and a shoreline that seagulls are afraid to swim in, the Statistics Canada survey results come as no surprise to anyone who has had to put a paycheque towards a new parka instead of rent.
The city of Toronto is confused, maybe even schizophrenic. In mere months, we’ve gone from being named a ‘world class city’ to a city with the nation’s most unhappiest. Doesn’t really add up, particularly when Saguenay, QC was named the happiest city — even though the province of Quebec has the highest overall suicide rate.
Of course, everyone way up in Saguenay is too busy having casual sex with their cousins to realize that there’s more to happiness than poutine and Carnival, but we digress.
The Economist ranked cities based on six painfully practical factors. Toronto offers safety, a plentiful harvest and business opportunity. In which case, it would’ve been more appropriate for The Economist to have named Toronto the most mediocre city in the world, not the best.
Statistics Canada, on the other hand, discovered that the average level of happiness is 7.8/10. We’d love to know more about when and where this survey was conducted. It’s hard to imagine Torontonians declaring themselves any less than ‘very satisfied’ while enjoying a cold beer during patio season. But if the Stat Can guys were looking for respondents outside the ACC after a Leafs Game…
Looks like Toronto’s got our essential human needs covered, which leaves us to wonder what really makes people happy. In our own defence, Toronto is young. New York and Paris are already cultural hubs that have it going on, Toronto is still developing its own swagger. But, statistics don’t lie. The unhappiness is palpable and at this point, we fear that not even Drake can save us.