We can already see tomorrow’s headlines…
“Crack Smoking Mayor Admits to Actually Smoking Crack”
“‘In a Drunken Stupor’ is Toronto Mayor’s Official Legal Stance, Called the Ford Defence”
“Doug Ford Attempts to Make Headlines by Calling for Police Chief’s Resignation, Rob Ford Responds by Admitting to Smoking Crack”
“Crack Cocaine Sales Plummet; Cool Factor Diminished Because of Questionable Association”
And, naturally, we’re all waiting for a mash-up of Rob Ford and Bill Clinton’s “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” speech.
For those who haven’t heard (perhaps one of you reading this): Rob Ford admitted earlier today that he smoked crack cocaine, “probably in a drunken stupor, probably about a year ago.” It seems like this was the moment the Internet was waiting for, and Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, and pretty much everywhere else has weighed in on the news, much to our delight.
So, in honour of our illustrious mayor’s admittance that we simply “didn’t ask the question properly,” here are some of our favourite responses from Twitter…
What They Said: Exclusive photo of Rob Ford press conference
Our Thoughts: We never really saw how much Chris Farley in his SNL prime looks like Rob Ford at what may be his end, and this was posted less than an hour after his press conference.
What They Said: Rob Ford and Alex Trebek – two Canadians obsessed with just how you phrase your questions.”
Our Thoughts: The National Post film critic rightly observes that phrasing does indeed matter.
What They Said: Haven’t we all been in a drunken stupor at some point while we held a political office? And haven’t we all, in that stupor, smoked crack?
Our Thoughts: So that’s what we were doing during our drunken stupor of ’11!
What They Said: Smoking crack. Making racist and homophobic remarks. I believe in Canada that’s referred to as a hat trick.
Our Thoughts: The Daily Show on the changing meaning of the phrase “Hat Trick.”
What They Said: @TOMayorFord I MISS YOU BABY </3 #topoli
Our Thoughts: No matter the time, no matter the hour, your pipe will set you free.
What They Said: Is Rob Ford art?
Our Thoughts: No, he’s poetry.
What They Said: We’re hearing “stunning” a lot today. That word is solely reserved for Gordon Ramsay’s description of an excellent Beef Wellington. #robford
Our Thoughts: We couldn’t resist such a seamless burn on both these gentlemen.