Why should you consider downloading a Dating App while Social Distancing?
So, you are home alone in self-isolation, day 3479 – oh is it still April? Who would have known?
Chances are you are thinking about downloading a dating app, or you already have one? Either way this article will help you make the most of your virtual dating experience. If you’re not going to give online dating a fair chance now, while in self isolation, you’ll likely never get around to it. So, if you’re curious about how this whole virtual dating thing works or are ready to try again, now is the time.
It’s Now or Never for Dating Apps
Similarly, dating apps have a prime opportunity to make virtual dating a more desirable and exciting experience. It’s now or never for them, their target audiences have more time on their hands and are restrained to virtual communication during this global pandemic. Dating apps should start thinking about evolving their business model to include the full virtual dating experience; with integrated food and gift delivery systems for those who want to make virtual dating a little more personal.
Bumble has taken the first step to enhance virtual dating; they have recently added a “virtual dating badge” feature to their app. Members can add this badge to their profile if they are interested in virtual dating, there are also video chat capabilities included in the app so you don’t have to share any personal information unless you are ready to. This is a great idea for two reasons, firstly, Bumble donates proceeds to the World Health Organization (WHO) every time someone adds the badge to their profile. And secondly, you will know that someone is seriously considering getting to know you when you match. So, it is a no brainer and a creative way to get people connected in this time of isolation and uncertainty.
Here’s Why You’re Doing it Wrong
Now even with these enhancements to online dating, most online daters complain about the impersonal feeling of virtual dating and the distractions that come with having too many options. You’ve likely experienced this while swiping, you see a profile that catches your eye and they seem pretty darn great, you find something you can relate to on their profile and you swipe right. For a split second, you wait to see if they liked you too. BOOM – it is a match; you feel a hint of excitement and then wait… are you still swiping again?!
Déjà vu isn’t it? Most of our online behaviours are triggered by two things, our desire for instant gratification and the consequence of decision fatigue. Both of these will have you wondering why your online dating experience sucks. When you’re constantly matching with good looking people and depicting the best version of yourself in your profile, what you’re really looking for is instant gratification, it’s the same feeling you get when someone likes your new Instagram post and it can be addicting. It’s short-lived and gives you a false sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, so you’ll run after your next match to get that feeling again. You’ll soon realize you’ve actually accomplished nothing meaningful. That leads us to decision fatigue; when you give your energy in unproductive spurts like these, you’re likely to get drained quickly and make bad decisions later on or give up your hope in finding someone awesome altogether.
The good news is that there are ways to avoid these cycles.
5 Tips to Help You Avoid Dating App Burn Out
If you want it to work, you must act with integrity on these apps, ask yourself – is this really me?
Here are a few tips to getting the most out of your online dating experience:
1. Make a list
Write down, yes get a pen and paper here, a list of your non-negotiables, fundamental values and a high-level list of the non-physical qualities you’re looking for in a partner. There are studies that show manifesting your ideal partner actually works but first you have to set the intention. This will guide you in choosing your matches wisely, and help you avoid tempting distractions. Be open-minded and tolerant of other people’s views but be direct in what you’re looking for, especially if it’s just something casual.
2. Take a second look
Don’t just match with people for an ego boost (we are all guilty of doing this). Make sure you put some effort into choosing who to match with. Narrow down your matches to people you can actually see yourself having a conversation with in person. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but you have to take into consideration what this person is trying to tell you about themselves in this limited profile. This might make you think a little harder about what you’re portraying in your profile as well.
3. Ask questions that inspire
Consider that your partner is a reflection of your behaviour, if you ask inspiring questions you’ll likely be inspired by their answers. Disclaimer, this doesn’t always work as some people are just boring and haven’t done enough internal soul searching to answer deep questions. Try it anyway.
Here are some questions to start you off:
- What’s been the best part of your day? Or the worst?
- When’s the last time you felt truly at peace or happy?
- What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we get out of self isolation and why?
- Have you learned something about yourself recently?
- What areas of your life are you working on improving?
- Biggest pet peeves?
4. Three-days and they’re out
I like to use the 3-day rule; if neither of you starts a conversation within 3-days, unmatch with them. If you wanted to make an effort to get to know each other than you would have by now. Clean up your matches often to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
5. The more, isn’t always the merrier
Focusing on one person at a time, this one may be tricky because you’ll have to find someone who’s committed to the same principle, but if you find yourself not receiving the same amount of effort, you’ll likely know where you stand.
Which Dating App is Right for You
Here are some pros and cons of the three most prominent dating apps to get you started.
Why you downloaded it: it’s branded as the universal “hook-up app”.
Why you’re STILL single: it’s branded as the universal “hook-up app” – you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into, tiger! It’s a great way to meet singles near you and if you’re both looking for a casual relationship then you’ll likely get the most out of this one.
Why you downloaded it: Women hold all the power baby! The great thing about it is the safety aspect, so if you’re someone who values safety and proximity you can make sure your partner is verified with that little blue checkmark and you can check their location before you swipe – take that catfish. The new virtual dating badge is also a great way to show solidarity and compassion for the global pandemic, and proceeds are donated on your behalf to the World Health Organization. This just in! Bumble has added another feature to help get the conversation started, they have added a question game capability with all sorts of thoughtful questions, so that if you get stuck with a potential virtual date you can always click the feature and a really interesting question will pop-up, prompting you both to answer it and likely learn more about each other.
Why you’re STILL single: Even though girls are the ones who have to start the conversation that doesn’t necessarily mean they do. You’ve likely spent a whole twenty four hours waiting for a message from that perfect girl, but instead, you might realize you’re STILL going to be rejected, even by someone who thinks you’re remotely attractive. Hint; try the extended time button, then you’ll have a whole forty eight hours to watch the love of your life ignore you, and you won’t be able to do a single thing about it… unless you go premium.
Why you downloaded it: It’s new in comparison to its competitors and its slogan “made to be deleted” gives you some faith in it, your journey of finding the right person. You are also given a limited amount of “likes” so you don’t end up wasting them on the person you know you’re never taking home to mom, the app encourages “thoughtful” connections. There is also an option to leave a comment instead of just a “like” which forces you to consider putting more effort in. Ladies – is it just me for are there better looking and sophisticated men on this app for some reason?!
Why you’re STILL single: well… turns out Chad is actually Charlotte, and Charlotte is a 58-year-old woman with two parrots who lives in a basement apartment catfishing people like you. There’s no verification process on this app so be sure to Facetime each other or send recent pictures early on.
Look at the Bright Side
Now you have some tools to help you navigate online dating, a quick look into what you’re up for with each of these apps, and hopefully some inspiration.
So get to chatting, remember to act with integrity, and don’t get discouraged by a few bad apples.
Stay tuned for the next part in the Ultimate Social Distancing Guide to Virtual Dating Series.