This time of year is synonymous with bridal showers, bachelorette fetes, and weddings galore. Whether you love or hate the bride, when choosing to attend such social obligations one must be aware of the proper etiquette.
Should you tell her you saw her fiancé Frenching and feeling up a fellow femme fatale just a few months back? Should you try to stop her from sealing the deal with “the one” she complained (in tears) about a week prior? Or should you sit tight, look pretty, dab your eyes with Kleenex, and just allow yourself to get taken away by the fact that despite everything, these two people found love and cared to commit – for better or for worse..?
Too Little Too Late
Did your friend accidentally forward you a slew of nasty messages her hubby-to-be sent her the week before? Did she cry to you saying she’s having doubts, claiming he’s being an ass and has been putting her down as of late? The wedding is not the time to bring up their flawed infatuation. If she says things are fine and you did your best when she approached you in the past, then now is your time to bite your tongue… hard. Your responsibility at a wedding is to be a friend and to show your support. You are not responsible for her decisions. Put on a smile, hold your head high, and just enjoy the process.
Bring a gift to the wedding reception and include a card. If you’re giving money I recommend writing a cheque, as envelopes sometimes get lost in the fray. A typical wedding present these days is about $100 per head, unless you are close with the couple. If you are bringing a plus one, it is expected that you give a more generous gift. You can always check the couples registry to find something that they’re interested in if you’re not comfortable with gifting money. One of my best tips is to get a personalized gift for the couple based on their interests. My favourite site is amazingclubs.ca, which is a subscription-based company that offers 22 various clubs (think: cheese club, wine club, tea club, etc.). How it works is you sign up and pre-pay online and it delivers curated products to the couples’ door each month!
Plus One Conundrum
Nothing is more uncomfortable for a grown adult – single or not – to not be invited to a social gathering without a plus one. The dreaded singles table, or worse, being seated with a bunch of newlyweds, doesn’t do an ego any good. If you’re not invited with a guest, but are seeing someone, feel free to approach the bride and let her know. You can ask if she minds if you bring him, but if the expense is too high, or numbers too tight, ask if he can come after dinner to join in the dancing. This won’t affect costs and you’ll have someone to dance the night away with.
If you know you’re going to see someone “unsavory” – like an ex and his annoying new girlfriend, or the girl who slept with your boyfriend when you were on a break – prepare, and make a vow, to put your best foot forward. The only person grudges hurt are those who keep them. To ensure you don’t get wasted and accidentally start a scene, say a friendly hello from the get-go to avoid what-if-ing and looking over your shoulder all night. You don’t need to be fake or make small talk by any means, but as soon as you see a frenemy of sorts say hello, be the bigger person, and then go on with your eve. You’ll feel more at ease and you’ll come off looking like a class act (whether you really are, or not).
What are some of your wedding guest etiquette dos and don’ts? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.