Vv Magazine’s Robert Gray imagines a time when marijuana is officially legal in Canada and is available a stone’s throw away from your favourite muchies at your local drugstore.
Last month, I did something that I had been putting off for a long while. I committed myself to a full 30 days of booze-free-living.
My friends and loved ones suggested that I might be setting myself up for failure by attempting such a feat during the holidays – a time of year when borderline wino behaviour gets a pass, but the amped up temptation of the holiday season only made the challenge more enticing to me.
I was determined to make it through the whole month without so much as a splash of rum in my egg nog. With each passing day, as I made another “x” on my sort of alcoholic’s advent calendar, I noticed two things:
1) I really was feeling healthier.
2) I desperately needed something to fill the void.
My love affair with smoking weed ended years ago because it began to mesh poorly with my anxiety. But the rapid influx of cannabis dispensaries in Toronto had me wondering if there might be a particular strain for me out there that could perhaps reignite an old flame.
Ten years ago at school, I never knew what type of weed I was smoking. Inevitably, someone would produce a joint and we’d smoke it. Pretty simple stuff. All I knew was that sometimes I’d smoke and feel completely elated. On these glorious occasions, life’s most pressing concerns were about Eddie Murphy movies and All Dressed Ruffles.
Other times, I’d smoke and become a nervous wreck. On these less than enjoyable evenings, you might have found me with my socks off, vigorously warming my feet, convinced that something was wrong with my circulation; or anxiously reading the fine print on a bottle of nasal spray wondering whether or not I needed to consult a physician, having accidentally sprayed three times instead of two.
I now know why.
Thanks to scientists and ganja-geeks alike, studies have shown that in the same way that certain alcohols cause different behaviours (hello, Tequila), there is a wide selection of weed strains that bring about rather predictable responses in their users.
As a result, I was able to find a strain that suits my personality very well.
All of this got me thinking — if the current proliferation of Toronto marijuana dispensaries is any indication of what is to come, then it can’t be too long before cannabis lovers will be flocking to their local Shoppers Drug Mart to find their favourite strains.
If this is so — here is a short list of popular weed varieties that could serve as alternatives to some common Shoppers Drug Mart products:
For NeoCitron: “Afghan Kush”
Feeling aches and pains and looking for a soothing sleep? This Indica strain comes from the Kush mountains in Afghanistan and is famous for causing deep levels of relaxation and pain relief. Pair with Pringles.
For Pepto Bismol: “Jasmine”
Often recommended for people suffering from IBS, this hybrid which was bred in Israel is said to combat nausea and indigestion. And you’ll never have that ugly pink tongue again!
For Red Bull drinkers: “Jack Herrer”
If Red Bull gives you wings, “Jack Herrer” gives you a jet pack! This award winning weed from the Sativa family is characterized by causing users to feel uplifted, happy, energetic, creative…and stoned.
You don’t have to be Cheech or Chong to appreciate that the cannabis plant is one of the most multifunctional natural medicines on the planet. And hey — if Shoppers Drug Mart ever does decide to “Go Green”, I might finally bother to sign up for that Optimum card!
Do you have a favourite strain of weed that you use for a substitute to drugstore staples? Let Vv Magazine know in the comment section or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.