The post-breakup period can be INTENSE. It can be intensely bad, intensely good, and it can be both at once.
Hitting the clubs after a breakup can feel liberating and uplifting–if you do it right. Unfortunately, with emotions running high, people often get too impulsive and end up having stressful nights that end badly.
So, here’s what you need to prepare for before you enjoy some post-breakup clubbing.
1) Expect mixed feelings & performance issues
Opening yourself to the wild world of women dancing their asses off can be fun and exhilarating. But it can also trigger feelings of sadness, regret, or discomfort in the wake of a breakup.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you feel a little out of place. Ease yourself into the scene and just do what you are comfortable with. If you’d rather have some drinks at the bar with your bros, that’s totally fine. If you want to rage on the dance floor, go for it.
If you go home with someone, again, you may feel excited about them and at the same time you might miss your ex. Those emotions can cause problems with your performance. To avoid an embarrassing accident, there are plenty of techniques to last longer in bed that you should check out.
2) Be 100% prepared to see your ex
Unless you and your ex live in different cities, you have to accept that you might run into them. Mentally preparing yourself for that possibility won’t completely stop you from all the uncomfortable feelings that go along with that, but it will definitely take the edge off.
Have a few lines prepared in case you run into him or her. Be prepared to be polite and neutral with them, and be prepared to promptly leave the club if she doesn’t first. You’re only going to be distracted and stressed out knowing that they’re in the same room as you, most likely dancing with other people.
Have a backup plan–what other clubs can you go to? You don’t want them to be on your mind, especially if you go home with someone. That’s just an unnecessary and unwanted distraction.
3) Pre-set a limit on your drinking
It is always a good idea to set a limit on how much you are going to drink (if you drink at all), but it is especially important post-breakup. Why?
Because this is a very vulnerable time during which people tend to get a little extra crazy. The emotions you are working with might drive you to want to drink more and party harder.
Trust me, that is NOT the answer and you risk making a fool of yourself.
If you do end up going home with someone, being too drunk can cause you to have problems you’d rather not have. Also, drinking can easily give you bad ideas, like calling your ex or trying to hit on one of your platonic friends.
Tell your friends in advance how much you are comfortable drinking and tell them not to let you contact your ex. They will be more than happy to help.
4) Chill out & go slow
Far too many people go the club after a breakup in hopes that they can validate themselves by taking someone home.
This is not a mature response to the feelings of rejection that come from a breakup. Get rid of this mentality. Your goal is NOT to hook up with someone. If you do this, you will end up putting too much pressure on yourself which can actually kill your fun and your night out.
Instead, make it your goal to let go of expectations and have an AMAZING night. Being overly focused on scoring right now will actually be more likely to ruin your night than anything else.
Luckily, dancing is really, really fun and works wonders at taking your mind off things. If you and somebody really click and go home together, that’s awesome. Just keep things light, and don’t be afraid to take things slow.
That post-breakup period is a challenging time, but clubbing can be a really fun way to transition back into being single and dating.
The main thing to remember is that you should set realistic expectations and treat the event as a well-deserved treat for you and your friends. Enjoy the time with your friends, enjoy meeting new people, and enjoy dancing well past midnight. It will do you wonders!