If you, like me, avoid your problems by soaking yourself in a bath of questionable reality television, chances are you watch The Real Housewives. The Bravo franchise, which also has a Canadian outpost in Vancouver on Slice, is usually a cluster-bleep of back-stabbing, hair-tossing, table-flipping, rich-but-bankrupt realness that is probably the closest thing to crack I have ever experienced (without trying the real thing). The common denominator among most of the more ruckus blow-outs is usually one or eight too many glasses of wine. Given that the ladies love to wind-down (or, wind-up?) with the beverage so much, it should come as no surprise that many of them have now have come out with bottles of their own. Here is a list of some of the ones you should try sipping while getting your Real Housewives fix.
Ronnie Negus (Real Housewives of Vancouver), Rehab Sauvignon Blanc
We’ll hype our homegrown drama queen first not only for nepotistic reasons but also because Ronnie herself is a heavy drinker who has been to rehab and decided, because she is so rich and has her own Napa vineyard, to make a wine and name it… Rehab. You literally cannot get more “Real Housewives” than that. Unfortunately, the wine never made it to store shelves but reviews online from people who managed to snag a bottle suggest it’s not as terrible as you’d think it would be.
Ramona Singer (Real Housewives of New York), Ramona Pinot Grigio
Anybody who has watched The Real Housewives of New York knows that Ramona Singer loves her some Pinot Grigio. It could be safely said that she drinks it so much that she is now blood-type PG. An entrepreneur and businesswoman already, it seemed to make financial sense for Ramona to develop her own brand of it… so she can drink it. Why give money to the liquor store like a sucker? With grapes sourced from the Veneto region of Italy, apparently it is light and citrusy. Unfortunately, only available in America.
Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Barney (Real Housewives of Orange County) and Kathy Wakile (Real Housewives of New Jersey), Wine by Wives
The girls from the original series of the franchise, Orange County, drink like depressed Irish farmers. Of the group, nobody likes their liquor more than Vicki and Tamra (though Gretchen squeezes in at a very close third). While they didn’t launch their own wine brand, the dynamic drunken duo did create Wine by Wives. The concept is a wine club where you choose your Wife and you will receive two bottles of wine (red or white) of her choice each month with part of the proceeds going to charity. Recently, the business has gone bi-coastal with Kathy Wakile from The Real Housewives of New Jersey joining in on the debauchery.
Theresa Giudice (Real Housewives of New Jersey), Fabellini Sparkling Wine
The queen of table flipping, spray tan and birthing children that could pass for her clones, Theresa has come out with Fabellini – a play on the Bellini. The sparkling wine advertises itself as a skinny option that doesn’t sacrifice on alcohol content (d’uh) or flavour. It comes in either peach or raspberry (just reading that gives me a hangover) with grapes sourced from Italy. So far, only available in the States.