The world is too small, and so the story goes. And when you’re in your thirties and you’re single, chances are you and your friends are overlapping with dating the same guys. Why does this happen? Dating apps. Proximity. Being interested in the same things. Small politics is a tricky little thing, and dating a friend or acquaintance who’s in your “scene”’ has been labeled as a faux pas: something one should never do unless she wants to be cut by her group of girls, mean girls style. And yet, with booze and desperation and horniness and physical attraction and the allure of the forbidden fruit, many of us hit it anyways (keeping it behind closed doors).
There’s a name for this phenomena when two people have slept with the same person at a separate time: Eskimo brothers/Eskimo sisters. Here are some stories of the scandalous realizations and situations alike.
Her, him and her
They just started seeing each other and still didn’t know much about one another’s sexual past, but that was all about to change. Because, as they were walking down the street hand-in-hand, she stopped to sit on a stoop in front of a high-rise condo to light up a smoke. He sat down next to her and brought up how he once hooked up with a girl who lived in it. When he told her the girls full name, she went red in the face and shook her head in disbelief. She didn’t want to start off their relationship by lying through omission, and it was obvious she knew this girl he referenced.
“I’ve hooked up with her too,” she said as she cringed that her secret was coming out. Though she classifies herself as straight, she had a bit of an experience with this girl, and over the course of a few months, despite both of them being in long term relationships with MEN, they would meet up for a rendezvous and hook up. She was surprised at how accepting and supportive her new guy was when she confessed about this girl-on-girl experience. “I guess that makes us Eskimo brothers!” he exclaimed, raising his hand for a high five. They shared whispers about some of the aforementioned girls “moves” and now always nod knowingly to one another when they pass the condo.
There’s a bee in the hive
She was still up from the night before, coming down. In her cloudy state, she swiped through her Bumble when she saw his pictures. She recognized him, not only as a band mate of a guy she was seeing a month prior, but also as the guy’s best friend (#doublewhammy). She debated whether or not to swipe right for him, but figured if he did too, then they would both be equally at fault. As soon as she swiped, an alert appeared on her phone indicating that ‘There’s a new bee in the hive.” She immediately messaged him, and they both had a bit of a laugh.
They arranged to get together for drinks that night in her area. She was a bit hesitant about whether or not to meet him, for fear of being labeled “That girl.” We all know that girl. She’s the one who hooks up with all the same guys in the same circle of friends. It’s not a chic or cute look and she was very well aware. She met him for a drink and brought up her hesitation immediately. She was reassured when he told her that he spoke to his bud right away, who then gave him the go-ahead. One thing led to another, as one thing always does when there’s booze and a mutual sexual attraction. Within a few hours, they were in bed together. It wasn’t lost on her that he got off in the same position as his bestie.
One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure
Two girls who had become fast friends were chatting about their recent hook-ups. “I had to send an intern to pick up my watch from his place!” she exclaimed, shaking her head at herself for her accidental leave-behind. Turns out, she hooked up with a guy a few days prior and the sex was awful. Worse than that, he kept texting her to see her again, using the watch as an excuse/collateral. As if she wasn’t turned off so much already by the bad and awkward sex, now she had to deal with him being pushy and not taking a hint.
She asked him to leave it at his concierge for her to grab (she was sending the intern for fear of running into him again). The one thing she mentioned though was his killer condo, complete with a library, screening room, and impressive wine fridge. That’s when her friend she was talking to put it all together: She had slept with a guy whose condo matched that description, too. But how could it be? They had had great sex and he was actually one of the coolest, suave guys she’s ever been with. Turns out they both slept with the same guy and had two polar opposite experiences. Guess that’s where the saying, one guy’s trash is another guy’s treasure comes from.
Have a crazy and/or totally bizarre dating story that the world needs to hear? Email firstname.lastname@example.org to be featured on an upcoming series of Yeah, That Happened.