20 Things Only Canadians Think When It’s Minus 20

When it comes to surviving the Canadian winter, all you can do is laugh… Or cry. That’s legit too. To celebrate/commiserate with our fellow Canucks over the ungodly temperatures across Canada right now, Vv Magazine presents the 20 things only Canadians think when it’s minus 20… by Isabel Chalmers, Philip Mak & Vicki Hogarth

1. Is my nose running? It’s too cold to know for sure but I feel a tickle. (Editor’s Note: That’s what she said.)

2. No one suspects that I’m easing myself into cross-dressing under this Canada Goose coat.

3. We’re going to the gala? Alright, I’ll wear my Hunters.

4. Does cabin fever make you delusional? You explain ketchup chips and the Tragically Hip.

5. My shoes are wetter than Ellen watching Orange is the New Black.

6. Is there an emoji for Seasonal Affective Disorder?

7. I’m more concerned with the groundhog’s next move than whatever the fuck is happening with ISIS.

8. Are you wearing long-johns or are you just happy to see me?

9. I haven’t seen this much snow since the ladies’ room at Fashion Week.

10. Let’s book a trip down south. How does New York sound?

11. I want to show a little skin at the club tonight. Can I borrow a turtleneck?

12. The more layers I wear, the more I understand why Fergie peed herself.

13. I don’t know what a “Chewbacca” is, but it’s my boyfriend pet name for me when we take off our clothes.

14. How many colours does this Snuggie come in?

15. This winter, I gave up on my diet, my appearance, and my life. Is that good enough for lent?

16. I can’t feel my face. This must be how Renee Zellweger feels.

17. We need milk. I’ll be back in five hours.

18. Does frostbite qualify me for refugee status?

19. If it weren’t for the free healthcare and cheap weed, I would ditch this frozen hell hole.

20. I fear rolling up the rim to win is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning.

BONUS: This is the last year I’m doing this, I swear!

What goes on through your (frozen) head when it’s minus 20 degrees outside during the Canadian Winter? Which one of the 20 things only Canadians think when it’s minus 20 did you relate to most? Share your thoughts in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.