As a single 24 year old woman in Toronto on the typical dating apps, my Instagram DM’s can be a bit overwhelming. It takes an interesting profile and a strong message in order for me to reply. You can’t just send a message saying “hi” and expect a reply from someone you don’t know, right? The below tips will help you stand out and maximize your chances of getting a reply from someone in my position.
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Here are 4 tips for sliding into their DMs and getting a reply
Have a Public Profile
Whenever I get a new message request, I immediately go to the profile of the person that sent me the message. A private profile is like a roadblock. If your bio and photo are not captivating enough, the person you messaged won’t go out of their way to follow you and may not respond to your message.
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If you need to have a private profile be sure to set your profile photo to a recent, close up photo of yourself. And follow the steps below super closely!
Have an Informative but Light Bio
Your bio should tell them something useful about you. You don’t want it to read like a dating profile, but they should be able to pull some information about you such as: your sense of humour, your passions, your interests, your profession, or your education. One to two takeaways is enough and will help them get to know you.
Your Message Should Have a Purpose
I appreciate messages that tell me the following:
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- How you came across my profile (dating app, explore page, TikTok, etc.)
- Why you messaged me. Are you interested in getting to know me or looking for something else? (you can add an appropriate compliment here as well)
- Something interesting/informative about yourself that will help me get to know you
These three things set the person you are messaging up really well to formulate a response. They don’t have to guess your intentions and they are given some information about you that they can use to assess compatibility and use to start a conversation with. Disclosing how you came across their profile eliminates guess work and will make them feel more comfortable.
Follow up Appropriately, Once
If your message goes unanswered, it’s acceptable to follow up once after an appropriate amount of time. I would suggest a few days to a week later. The follow up message should be short and sweet – your first message already did all of the heavy lifting – this is just a reminder that you’re looking forward to chatting with them. You shouldn’t refer back to the first message as they can still see it, so try starting a casual conversation or asking them how their day was!
Happy messaging!
