Not since Chef Grant Soto has a culinary character perplexed and awed us in such a way as our recent discovery of Chef Gordon Oliver. Globally infamous for his utter disregard toward the foundations of cooking, Chef Oliver has elicited intrigue and outrage with everything from his Cats in a Pot cookbook (which has sold a paltry 12 copies since its release) to his disastrous “Ode de Poulet” dinner series where four dozen unfortunate souls were hospitalized after tasting concoctions like Chicken Ceviche a la King and Chicken Beak Crostini.
What’s more, this infamy earned by Chef Oliver comes after but nine months on the circuit. He began his career as a private chef for fancy felines in the aristocratic scene of London, Ontario, but soon the lack of praise and admiration bestowed on him by his audience led to a sickly desire for the world’s recognition. His blitzkrieg of the culinary stage has prompted celebrated chefs to form an assemblage dubbed the Foundation of Unequivocal Culinary Chef Keynotes (FUCCK) in order to protect the sanctity of cooking fundamentals and combat Chef Oliver’s growing stronghold in the food community. Despite vehemently vocalized outrage by the members of FUCCK and public protest, Chef Oliver has confirmed via Twitter that he will still make an appearance on Eat Talk on CTV, March 14 at 7:27p.m. EST.
While the final outcome of Chef Oliver’s proliferating plague is too dreary and disturbing to predict, one thing is for certain: Some people are not meant to cook. Some people should just eat…
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