Entering the New Year Newly Single

In VTV’s latest installation of “Talk Dirty to Me with Sara Starkman…” our relationship expert explains how to survive a break-up right after the New Year.

What’s that I hear? One ticket to Single Town? Dry your eyes newly single Sal(ly). Single Town’s not that bad. I mean sure, your bed may not be as warm and your phone may not vibrate as often, but don’t be fooled by those lingering feelings of emptiness. When you step into your own as a newly single person in the New Year, something wonderful happens. All of the stale, weepy energy freezes and cracks off (because it’s January) and what you uncover is the gift of freedom and endless possibility.

If you’ve just suffered a break up, you are either going to begin to realize the toxicity of your previous partnership and slowly start to bask in its demise, or you’ve been completely caught off guard and murdered emotionally, in which case you’ll slowly accept that, regardless of what you thought previously, your ex is a spineless twat and you are way better off without them, capiche? Easier said than done, of course, but those “ah ha!” moments will come sooner rather than later if you follow my list of points for feeling fabulous in the New Year, unattached…

Grieve properly
Stop pretending. You aren’t a sitcom character. You’re a real live human who needs to blubber and sob until vomiting before feeling somewhat normal again (we’ve all been there, trust me). Vent to your friends, scream into a pillow, annihilate a large cheese pizza while watching Superbad, and get it all out before Valentine’s Day. No one wants to hear your cynical drunken rants come February 14th^. Trust me… it’s clichéd and a massive downer for your attached friends.

Grab your single mates and go out on the town
Remind yourself how much fun it is to flirt shamelessly and dance all night without having anyone to answer to – and with all those other newly single people out there, you’re bound to be slipped a few numbers (which never hurts the ol’ ego).

Focus on specific goals
Write them down and really digest the things you want to achieve and all that there is to look forward to. This will help you stay positive and allow your break up to fuel your ability to stick with those resolutions (envisioning someone’s face on a punching bag definitely burns more calories).

Enjoy being single
Most people end up being attached for the majority of their lives. Meaning, regardless of how you feel presently, just remember, you won’t be alone forever – so stop saying that… it’s really annoying! Instead, make plans to travel somewhere new and exciting, take the time to lose (or gain) those last ten pounds, watch all the movies you’ve wanted to watch that your ex-partner had vetoed, and, overall, just do you! Before you know it you’ll probably have a whole brood to look after and you’ll pine for the days where you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted.

Now, about that ticket to Single Town. Let’s book you an open return…