Scene & Heard: Kazan vs. Ghomeshi, Canada is Rob Ford + more

This Toronto-based up-and-comer seemed to be on the brink of stardom, at least on a Canadian level, having starred on a big network TV series and countless shout-outs, features, and guest appearances in the media limelight. In fact, her agent was under the impression she’d impress south of the border with a clear gift for her craft, undeniable charm and beauty. In the past, the Toronto starlet had scored the interest of an internationally-acclaimed producer who referred to the burgeoning artist as simply “a star.” She was even advised against doing projects that made her appear too “Canadian” and therefore not marketable to a wider, more international audience. If you thought she’d merely moved on to bigger horizons, you’re mistaken. The starlet on the rise is now in limbo with no real project planned or commitments to return to the public eye despite confidential discussions about taking on major starring roles. The rumour mill is abuzz with what might have gone wrong–personally or professionally–and why she and her trusty agent have barely communicated since the fall.

Dating younger men is the new trophy husband
Juice factor: 8/10

While George Clooney may have been heralded the official poster boy for the new era of “trophy husbands” after marrying powerhouse lawyer and humanitarian Amal Alamuddin, that’s not the only so-called relationship trend making blips on the pop culture radar. Irish songstress and X Factor judge Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, formerly known as Cheryl Cole, has become the bane of One Direction fans existence after she and boy-bander Liam Payne went public with their romance via Instagram (is there any other way these days?). Although the decade-long age gap between their birth certificates isn’t exactly new in Hollywood or even the world, what is a little questionable is that 32-year-old Cheryl first met 22-year-old Liam when he was a 14-year-old hopeful contestant auditioning for X Factor. She gave his baby cheeks and pubescent voice her vote back then, and though he had to come back two years later to get Simon’s full support (as well as Cheryl’s approval once again), their platonic early history on the reality show gives their blossoming new romance a very Celine-Rene vibe–with Cheryl, of course, playing the part of Rene. But just because the thought of getting with someone you knew as a child but who always knew you as an adult is creepy, that doesn’t mean it isn’t totally legal. Nevertheless, this photo Cheryl took of Liam struggling to hold onto armloads of Easter candy like an oversized kid this past weekend really sums up how we feel. We expect this on Duck Dynasty but not the A-list. No, wait–we take that back.

Is this the honest hard truth about the Kim Kardashian sex tape?
Juice factor: 8/10

Scandalous Hollywood author Ian Halperin has written tell-alls on everyone from Kurt Cobain to Michael Jackson, so it was only a matter of time before he tackled America’s First Family, the Kardashians. In his latest headline-making book Kardashian Dynasty, Halperin alleges that Momager Kris Jenner leaked Kim K’s now famous sex tape with Ray J, which catapulted Kim and, consequently, the entire family into the public eye before landing them a reality show, among other money-making ventures. Page Six printed an excerpt from the book this past Sunday in which a source gives Halperin the backstory to the epic rise of Kim K’s backside: “A mutual friend of Kim and Paris [Hilton] had advised her that if she wanted to achieve fame, a sex tape would be the way to go,” the source apparently tells Halperin in the tell-all. “Kim had discussed the idea of producing a tape with her family beforehand.” Well, it’s not exactly an idea the media hasn’t entertained before, but it will be interesting to see how the Kardashian Klan responds to the allegations this time around with an internationally-renowned gossip writer and an entire book to discredit.

Did the Canadian media forget what a terrible mayor Rob Ford was?
Juice factor: 9/10

It’s always tragic when someone dies, even if that person was once a divisive personality with questionable platforms, a destructive personal life, and potentially potent political power. If the Ford era seemed over even prior to Rob Ford’s passing, certain Canadian and local publications–even those who’d describe themselves as left-wing–are making sure the tabloid-grabbing Ford family keep the Google hits-a-comin’ by painting Doug Ford as a successor. The era of Rob Ford as Mayor of Toronto may have been terrifying for anyone with opposing political opinions or dislike for international attention attributed to embarrassing YouTube antics, but there’s no denying Rob Ford was good for advertising dollars even after he stepped down as mayor. If our politics had been beige and boring before–even to us–suddenly Ontario’s lakeshore had its very own Snooki, saying and doing anything for attention from an army of catchphrase-loving followers with terrifyingly unwavering loyalty. At least some of the biggest international publications aren’t letting Canadians get away with the mess we made of our own political system before barely voting the Fords out of office, only to forget everything under the Harper regime in the liberal sunny ways of the Trudeau Part Deux era of Canadaland. The UK’s The Guardian wasn’t afraid to tackle the touchy topic last week after Rob Ford’s death in an article entitled “Canada is Justin Trudeau, but it is also Rob Ford,” which highlights how the Fords paved the way for the internationally-frightening Trump era currently underway in the US entitled. Hey, maybe we won’t print articles like this up here for fear of ruffling feathers but–lest we forget in the post-crack tape Toronto–the whole world is now watching us, for better or for worse. Just because we don’t print doesn’t mean they won’t.

The Junos hit Calgary and…
Juice factor: Um,  yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker? 

We’ll be the first to admit that going to Calgary for the Junos sounds about as exciting as getting nosebleed seats to a Jann Arden concert or following the Tragically Hip on tour. While we’ve been long-time advocates of making the Junos a Toronto-based event so more than just the people who are nominated and those who actually bother to go to the awards show. You can only hear, “Drake’s sorry he can’t be here tonight…” so many times until you start wondering what “Started From the Bottom” was really about. The truth is, not even we civilians want to go to Calgary outside of designated summertime stampede shenanigans. And while it’s a better option than, say, Regina or Thunder Bay, that’s like choosing between Milwaukee and Toledo: we might as well stay home. Keep your fingers crossed that we get our act together and saddle up for the ride out West, so we can report back next week on all the after-party dirt. We’re not exactly expecting a Blue Rodeo scandal backstage or a Twitter frenzy that breaks the internet during an Ashley MacIsaac tribute, but at least the Weeknd will be there, and he’s famous to more people than just us. Maybe he’ll bring his model girlfriend Bella Hadid. On second thought, showing Bella the Junos might be like watching your father dance to “I Can’t Feel My Face” at a wedding–hilarious in retrospect but uncomfortable, depressing, and embarrassing at the time.

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What had your blood boiling and your mouths gasping from this week’s Scene & Heard column? Leave us your thoughts in the comments below or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.