Booty call relationships are a lot like dairy products: some can last longer than others, depending on your ability to keep them chilled when they’re not in use, but they all have quickly approaching expiration dates to keep in mind before they sour. While it’s easy to see the mold growing on your average container of yogurt, it’s a lot harder to admit when a once sexy pseudo-relationship has finally passed its prime. Here are the signs it’s time to end a booty call…
You constantly check your phone for texts
If your heart jumps every time your phone notifies you of a new text only to leave you disappointed that your friends are inquiring about your availability for dinner plans, your booty call is not only turning you into a shitty friend, you’ve clearly let your feelings develop past the point of a healthy booty call. If there’s no sign that the person you’ve established a friends with benefits style non-relationship with has feelings for you, get out before you make things inevitably heartbreaking for yourself.
You limit your Friday and Saturday night plans to a booty call-friendly geographical zone
If you decide against going to a friend’s housewarming party simply because it’s an expensive cab ride or over 30-minute public transit escapade away from your booty call’s whereabouts, then you’ve broken all the rules of having a healthy booty call relationship in one foul misstep. Booty calls are meant as last gestures to evenings out, not hopeful plans that will ultimately leave you sad and lonely if they don’t materialize.
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You use the name of your booty call in conversation with friends
A booty call is not your significant other and therefore does not even warrant a name save in your phone’s contact list beyond something like “Tinder Crawford Street” or “Are you sure you want to do this?”
You’re online stalking your booty call
If a Facebook photo tag of your booty call with a suspected love interest has you feeling sick to your stomach, or if you’re resorting to Twitter to confirm the geographical whereabouts of your friend with benefits, you’re too invested. In fact, if you’ve bothered to learn the last name of the person you’re only supposed to be sleeping with chances are you care too much.
You’re not dating other people…
…on purpose… just in case there’s something between you and the sour milk. There is: The “erase contact” garbage bin.
How do you successfully navigate your booty calls? Comment below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.
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