When we think of abusive relationships, immediately we have images of beaten and battered women and to be fair, the stats are ultimately higher for women in abusive relationships. But abuse, specifically domestic violence, is becoming less and less gender-specific. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four men at some point in their lives have been the victim of physical violence by an intimate partner. These stats to some may be an eye opener, so why aren’t we talking about it more?
It’s not just women or heterosexual couples who become entangled in domestic violence crimes or end up as victims. Even as we become more and more progressive as a society, we seem to doubt and ridicule the men who do step forward as victims of abuse. Why is this? Domestic violence happens to all types of folks in many different types of relationships – romantic or otherwise. The biggest thing to remember is that abuse is also gender non-specific and we live in a world where a woman or another man is capable of hitting, beating, or abusing their male partners.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in seven men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime and according to a large-scale Statistics Canada study in 2005, the likelihood of a man being the victim of violent abuse by his female partner is almost the same as it is for a woman. Many men do not envision ending up in these abusive situations but find themselves in emotionally abusive partnerships with nowhere to turn and face a lot of shame and guilt.
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In this CBC article from 2010, Don Dutton, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia explains, “Men are less likely to report domestic violence to police than women are, and police are less likely to take male complaints seriously.” While the shame and guilt will often times leave men from reporting, it also comes down to facing the stigma of what masculinity means. It is still seen as highly emasculating for a man to be a victim of abuse.
While the facts remain: yes, more women experience domestic violence than men we must not forget than many of the men who are suffering from abuse in all its forms are suffering in silence. No instance of domestic violence is ever justified and we need to raise awareness to break the stigma of male partner violence happening. Let’s stop buying into outdated ideals of what it takes to be a man and break the cycle.
RELATED LINK: Stopping Stigma: Why we Need to Stop STI Shaming
Do you have a male friend who has suffered abuse? What do you think we can do to urge men to come forward? Let Vv Magazine know in the comment section or tweet us at @ViewtheVibe.
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