The Doctor is in…. Sure, you could self-diagnose or Google image search your symptoms, but why induce paralyzing panic when Vv Magazine’s very own medical expert, The Doctor, can demystify your dumbest, scariest, grossest medical questions? He’s got the useful 21st century advice and lifestyle tips for any self-respecting hypochondriac. And, yes, he is a real doctor – not one of those phonies from an arts phD program. The Doctor specializes in infectious diseases, sexual health, and keeping it real. Send him your health questions to info@viewthevibe.com.
Dear Doc,
ADVERTISEMENT |
I’ve been hearing rumblings of Ebola scares in Toronto, and I’m curious how legitimately concerned I should be about the possibilities of it becoming “a part of our heritage”? I know it’s probably part of your job to diffuse citywide panic, but I’d just like to know if I should take any precautions or invest in a stylish swine flu mask — which I’ve already done. I just want to know if multiple styles might be more practical (like underwear) and less of a style statement? Thanks!
– Zoe
Hey Zoe,
The answer is no. Of course, I’m writing this from my hermetically-sealed bubble in a secured facility in the middle of the Nevada desert. Howard Hughes, eat your heart out! Why wait for the apocalypse when you can jump the gun on anarchy and growing your nails out now? If you think swine flu masks are stylish – and they are – I’m a huge fan of the fall/winter 2014 baklava revival championed by Karl Lagerfeld, which offers protection from the elements and a terrified reaction from 711 clerks that never really gets old.
ADVERTISEMENT |
Okay, back to Ebola. Why shouldn’t the average Canadian be afraid? Well, there are plenty of reasons, and not just because I told you so. First of all, the likelihood of Ebola affecting many people in Canada is vanishingly small. While I don’t dispute that cases of the disease may reach our shores (despite the new policy of denying visas to those from affected countries), the potential spread in Canada is unlikely to reach anywhere near the rate at which it is ravishing through western Africa. Ebola is transmitted through bodily fluids; in most North American hospitals, simple contact precautions would be enough to halt its spread. But, in true fear-induced Canadian fashion (and not the good baklava-sporting kind), any case of Ebola (real or suspected) will be cordoned off in negative pressure rooms and cared for by doctors and nurses in full isolation regalia circa Kate Winslet in Contagion. Unlike influenza (which kills upwards of 200 to 400 people per year in Canada), Ebola cannot be spread through the air.
The other thing Canada has going for it is SARS. Weird, I know, but follow the logic here. During the SARS outbreak in 2003, over 400 people became sick, 25,000 were quarantined, and 44 died. Primarily, this disease was spread through contact with healthcare. And – oh boy – did we learn a lot from that one. Our screening, isolation, and infection control policies have all been changed and improved by that experience. I would argue that Canada’s (and, more specifically, Toronto’s) expertise would be hard-matched anywhere else in the world.
Rather than spending time stressing about Ebola, I would spend increased mental energy worrying about something much more deadly and realistic… for instance, the seal hunt – just kidding! But – see – the world has tons of terrible things in it if you want to drive yourself crazy, so don’t lose sleep over Ebola. That’s my job. If you see a hermetically-sealed bubble rolling across Lake Ontario, wave – it’s me!
Have a question for The Doctor? From sexual health inquiries to seasonal colds and epic infections sweeping nations, The Doctor picks the best 1 to 2 questions a week and answers them on Vv Magazine every week.
