Weekend Warriors: 20 Things That Happen When You’re Drunk

From poutine to social media shenanigans, all the stupid things that happen when you’re drunk…

Friday is here! After a long week at the office you should really consider staying in to catch up on some much needed rest. But let’s be honest, in celebration of another completed workweek, you have probably already decided which downtown hot spot you are going to drink yourself into oblivion at. It’s the culture of ‘work hard, play hard’ that so many young professionals are buying into. After putting countless hours into the corporate world, it seems that for most, the only goal of the weekend is to drink as much as possible.

So who are we to blame for this cultural issue? Are we all just radicals who are rebelling against Toronto’s strict drinking laws? Or is it simply a case of the corporate world needing to de-stress after a long and tiring week? Recently, a law was passed in Paris, making it illegal to be intoxicated in public. After reading our list of the 20 things that happen when you are drunk, you may think that Toronto should follow Paris’ lead. Happy drinking!

1. Have an epic dance party to all of those pop songs that you usually hate. Channel your inner Beyonce and convince yourself that you look just like the backup dancers in the “Single Ladies” video.

2. Flirt with that guy at the bar who you think looks just like Ryan Gosling, but is really more of a Chad Kroeger. Beer goggles are real, people!

3. Make up with your best frenemy – promptly go back to hating her the next day.

4. Spill red wine all over your new boots that you paid $300.00 for, think nothing of it.

5. Buy useless things online like THIS.

6. Cry over the wine that you spilt on your $300.00 boots.

7. Book a flight to NYC so that you are locked in before your sober voice of reason can stop you.

8. Shots, shots, and more shots.

9. Instagram photos that you will ultimately delete when you wake up the next morning. Social media does not need to know how drunk and disorderly you were again. That’s between you, the universe, and Chad Kroeger.

10. Take another $100.00 out at the ATM to buy rounds for your friends.

11. Start fighting with an equally intoxicated person who bumped into you on the dance floor.

12. Later become best friends with the drunk person who bumped into you on the dance floor. The universe wanted you to meet! It was fate.

13. Pee in an alleyway because You “JUST CAN’T HOLD IT!!!” (Note – pee on the $300.00 boots.)

14. Invite all of your friends over for a boozy brunch the following morning. Wake up horribly hungover and pray that nobody shows up.

15. Get into a massive fight with your partner because you are suddenly convinced that they are still in love with their ex from 10 years ago.

16. Devour some late night poutine, and then pick up a pizza before heading home. Eat the entire pizza in bed. Wake up with sauce all over your face and in your hair.

17. Drunk text your ex, the person you just started dating, and everyone in between.

18. Yell at the cab driver for taking the wrong route home only to realize that he was actually going the right way. Fall asleep in the cab. Wake up with a hefty bill to pay.

19. Peruse Facebook, leave ridiculous comments on random people’s statuses.

20. Fall asleep with your clothes, shoes, and makeup on with the front door open. Where’s the cat? Where’s Chad Kroeger?

What are some of the worst/best things that happen when you’re drunk? Let Vv Magazine know in the comments below or tweet us @ViewTheVibe.